Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Terminator

Taylor Momsen Saves Music From Certain Doom By Refusing AI Help
Breaking, Music News

Taylor Momsen Saves Music From Certain Doom By Refusing AI Help

Chord F. DiscordOctober 20, 2026October 20, 2026

Oh no, the music industry is doomed… or not. Taylor Momsen, the fearless frontwoman of THE PRETTY RECKLESS, has spoken…

Fallout 76 now lets you buy friendship with overpriced digital dogs
Breaking, Games News

Fallout 76 now lets you buy friendship with overpriced digital dogs

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 30, 2026September 30, 2026

The never-ending saga of Fallout 76 continues, and this time, Bethesda is pulling out all the stops to get us…

Another Gift from Hollywood, Arnold Schwarzenegger as Santa
Breaking, Movie News

Another Gift from Hollywood, Arnold Schwarzenegger as Santa

FinnSeptember 30, 2026September 30, 2026

Ahnold is back, and this time he’s swapping his Terminator shades for a red suit and a beard, because in…

AI Employee Bails Again Due to Safety Concerns
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AI Employee Bails Again Due to Safety Concerns

Big ElephantSeptember 9, 2026September 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A former Anthropic employee, Jacob Coxon, just quit his job and…

Meta’s AI Gets Extra Credit for Unauthorized Hacking Project
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Meta’s AI Gets Extra Credit for Unauthorized Hacking Project

Big ElephantAugust 5, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest AI mishap, and I’ve got to say, it’s a doozy.…

Oh Great Another Movie About Your Mother Because Clearly The World Was Missing That
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Great Another Movie About Your Mother Because Clearly The World Was Missing That

FinnAugust 5, 2026August 5, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic, action-packed, and spiritually uplifting movie of the year? 🎥👊 I…

Oh Joy Another Chance to Watch a 30 Year Old Anime Film on a Format That’s Older Than Most of the Audience While Paying Exorbitant Cinema Prices to Relive the Experience of Scratches and Flicker on a Big Screen
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Chance to Watch a 30 Year Old Anime Film on a Format That’s Older Than Most of the Audience While Paying Exorbitant Cinema Prices to Relive the Experience of Scratches and Flicker on a Big Screen

FinnJuly 14, 2026

This is not a drill, folks! 🚨🎥 The most iconic anime film of all time, AKIRA, is coming back to…

PlayStation Casually Steals 500 Movies From Users Because That’s Just What Companies Do Now
Sony to Remove 551 Movie Titles from PlayStation Libraries, Because Who NeedsPermanent Ownership Anyway?
Breaking, Movie News

PlayStation Casually Steals 500 Movies From Users Because That’s Just What Companies Do Now

FinnJune 30, 2026June 30, 2026

In a move that’s sure to delight fans of ephemeral media and fleeting entertainment experiences, Sony has announced that it…

…And Justice for All Terminator Fans 🤖
Videos

…And Justice for All Terminator Fans 🤖

Chuck B. BallsyJune 11, 2026

The Fastest Way to Expose a Fake Metal Fan Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world…

Two G.I. Joe Movies in the Works: Because One Just Isn’t Confusing Enough
G.I. Joe: The Franchise That Refuses to Die, Kinda Like Cobra Commander After a Nuclear Apocalypse
Breaking, Movie News

Two G.I. Joe Movies in the Works: Because One Just Isn’t Confusing Enough

FinnFebruary 27, 2026February 27, 2026

G.I. Joe is back, baby! And by “back” we mean Paramount is once again attempting to turn a line of…

Posts pagination

1 2 3 Next

Latest posts

  • LEGALIZER: Sock‑Sandwich Gets the Federal Grandstand
  • Family Shooting Survival Streak Continues Uninterrupted For Generations Apparently
  • GOP Spends Big on Crime Ads Without Victims’ Consent Apparently
  • War Remains Trump’s Playground Regardless Of Midterm Outcome
  • Federal Judge To Trump Admin: Stop Guessing Who’s Not American

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.