Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Thank You

Ozzy and the Geezers: Still Alive? (Barely) Birmingham Bash!
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy and the Geezers: Still Alive? (Barely) Birmingham Bash!

Chord F. DiscordJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

So, apparently, Ozzy Osbourne, bless his heart, mumbled his way through what they’re calling his “last” performance earlier tonight (Saturday,…

Black Sabbath at Villa Park, Birmingham, England (07/05/2025)
Videos

Black Sabbath at Villa Park, Birmingham, England (07/05/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 5, 2025

Thank you for the ride, Ozzy! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

Behold! A Complete Pilgrimage to the OZZY OSBOURNE ‘Working Class Hero’ Shrine in the Land of Birmingham
Breaking, Music News

Behold! A Complete Pilgrimage to the OZZY OSBOURNE ‘Working Class Hero’ Shrine in the Land of Birmingham

Chord F. DiscordJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Metal Pilgrim has uploaded a full video tour of the the Ozzy Osbourne “Working Class Hero” exhibition, which opened in…

Fireworks, Hot Dogs, and Gas: What’ll Bankrupt You Faster This 4th of July Weekend
Elephant Reads CNN

Fireworks, Hot Dogs, and Gas: What’ll Bankrupt You Faster This 4th of July Weekend

Big ElephantJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to spin the narrative even when things are going great under President Trump’s leadership! They’re practically…

Starbucks Trembles: China’s Coffee King Has Invaded America
Elephant Reads CNN

Starbucks Trembles: China’s Coffee King Has Invaded America

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, great, more Commie coffee infiltrating our sacred land! Luckin Coffee, the Chinese knock-off that somehow “beat” Starbucks in China…

HATEBREED’s WAYNE LOZINAK Plans Brain Tumor’s Eviction Notice ASAP
Breaking, Music News

HATEBREED’s WAYNE LOZINAK Plans Brain Tumor’s Eviction Notice ASAP

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

So, apparently, HATEBREED’s Wayne Lozinak, the guy who shreds (or at least pretends to) on guitar, had a little something…

GENE HOGLAN: Lars Stole My Beat, Metallica Paid My Bills (Allegedly)
Breaking, Music News

GENE HOGLAN: Lars Stole My Beat, Metallica Paid My Bills (Allegedly)

Chord F. DiscordJune 27, 2025June 26, 2025

In a recent interview with the obscure That Metal Interview podcast, DARK ANGEL drummer Gene Hoglan, bless his heart, is…

Liquid Death’s Newest Brainfart: Whiskey So Old, It’s Practically Fossilized
Elephant Reads CNN

Liquid Death’s Newest Brainfart: Whiskey So Old, It’s Practically Fossilized

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Ah, yes, more woke garbage from the liberal elites! “Liquid Death” water teams up with WhistlePig Whiskey to create “GraveStock…

Trump’s Brain Predicts Israel-Iran Tinder Match Gone Wrong, Wants No Part in the Drama
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Brain Predicts Israel-Iran Tinder Match Gone Wrong, Wants No Part in the Drama

Big ElephantJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

Folks, CNN is at it again, trying to make President Trump look like he’s waffling on foreign policy! Israel and…

Warhammer 40K: Space Marine – Master Crafted Edition: More Like Master Crapped Edition, AmIRite?
Breaking, Games News

Warhammer 40K: Space Marine – Master Crafted Edition: More Like Master Crapped Edition, AmIRite?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Oh, sweet Emperor, here we go again! Warhammer 40K: Space Marine – Master Crafted Edition dropped this week, and the…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 19 20 21 22 Next

Latest posts

  • Spin of the Day: The puzzle features nine pears for players to solve. — 86% Journalism Not Found
  • Bombers Leave UK Base Suddenly Remembering They Have Homes
  • Alice Cooper Still Trying To Validate 78 Years Of Existence
  • Tom Cruise Suffers One of His Lowest Box Office Openings Ever
  • Chance Weighs Dropping First Name For The Rapper Moniker

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.