Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Thank You

SHINEDOWN’s BARRY KERCH Promises Their Next Album Will Be Just As Confusing As Ever: Buckle Up For Another Identity Crisis
Breaking, Music News

SHINEDOWN’s BARRY KERCH Promises Their Next Album Will Be Just As Confusing As Ever: Buckle Up For Another Identity Crisis

Chord F. DiscordDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: SHINEDOWN PROMISES NOT TO BORE US WITH ANOTHER CONCEPT ALBUM (WE’RE ALL BERRRRY HAPPY) 🚨 In a stunning…

Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die – Gore Verbinski’s Time Traveling Circus Starring Sam Rockwell Drops Poster
Breaking, Movie News

Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die – Gore Verbinski’s Time Traveling Circus Starring Sam Rockwell Drops Poster

FinnDecember 26, 2025December 26, 2025

In a bold new cinematic experience that will make you question your life choices, Gore Verbinski’s latest film “Good Luck,…

MEGADETH’s DAVE MUSTAINE Explains Why His Fingers Are Plotting a Mutiny Against His Guitar
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH’s DAVE MUSTAINE Explains Why His Fingers Are Plotting a Mutiny Against His Guitar

Chord F. DiscordDecember 25, 2025December 25, 2025

🎸🚨 BREAKING: Dave Mustaine Announces Retirement Because His Hands Are Now More Arthritic Than Your Grandpa’s Knees 🚨🎸 In a…

AMORPHIS Drops ‘Crowned in Crimson’ Because Apparently Kalevala Needed a Soundtrack From 2008
Breaking, Music News

AMORPHIS Drops ‘Crowned in Crimson’ Because Apparently Kalevala Needed a Soundtrack From 2008

Chord F. DiscordDecember 19, 2025December 19, 2025

Move Over, Hollywood: Amorphis Just Dropped a Power Ballad So Cinematic It Might Actually Summon a Bear From the Kalevala…

Director of Unauthorized Wayne Static Biopic Fires Back at Estate After They Said “No”
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

Director of Unauthorized Wayne Static Biopic Fires Back at Estate After They Said “No”

Chord F. DiscordDecember 13, 2025December 13, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: The Ghosts of Wayne Static and Tera Wray Are About to Star in a Documentary Drama So Juicy…

Families of Static-X’s Wayne Static and Wife Tera Wray ‘Vehemently Protest’ Unauthorized Documentary Shenanigans
Breaking, Music News

Families of Static-X’s Wayne Static and Wife Tera Wray ‘Vehemently Protest’ Unauthorized Documentary Shenanigans

Chord F. DiscordDecember 10, 2025December 10, 2025

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely nobody saw coming (except, you know, everyone with internet access), the families…

The Crown (Sweden) Announces 87-Date ‘Farewell’ Tour in 2026 to Prove They Still Exist
Events, Music News

The Crown (Sweden) Announces 87-Date ‘Farewell’ Tour in 2026 to Prove They Still Exist

Chord F. DiscordDecember 1, 2025December 1, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! THE CROWN, those Swedish death/thrash metal dinosaurs 🦕, are finally calling it quits! After…

Limp Bizkit Still Alive, Plays Show After Some Dude Kicks the Bucket
Breaking, Music News

Limp Bizkit Still Alive, Plays Show After Some Dude Kicks the Bucket

Chord F. DiscordNovember 30, 2025November 30, 2025

LIMP BIZKIT, those purveyors of fine nu-metal and questionable fashion choices, graced the stage in Mexico City on Saturday night…

Park Chan-wook’s “No Other Choice” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Mind Slightly Bent (Maybe)
Breaking, Movie News

Park Chan-wook’s “No Other Choice” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Mind Slightly Bent (Maybe)

FinnNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

MUBI, bless their cotton socks, has graced us with a new UK trailer and artwork for BAFTA Award-winner 🙄🙄🙄 Park…

Ex-ARCH ENEMY Singer ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Blames YOU For Her Existential Crisis
Breaking, Music News

Ex-ARCH ENEMY Singer ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Blames YOU For Her Existential Crisis

Chord F. DiscordNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

OMG! 😱 Former ARCH ENEMY vocalist Alissa White-Gluz wants you to know how much she appreciates your “love and support”…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 5 6 7 … 14 Next

Latest posts

  • Media Molecule’s Next Game Will Probably Be a Reboot of Knack with a Battle Royale Mode and a Subscription Service
  • Logitech Finally Creates Products That Won’t Give You Carpal Tunnel After 5 Minutes Of Use Maybe
  • MARK MORTON Still Shocked Nobody Has Copied LAMB OF GOD’s Unique Sound After Only 25 Years of Being Totally Original and Not At All Influenced by Anyone Else
  • Metal Concertgoers Then🍺 vs Now 😔
  • Wife Says Her Love Language Is All Of Them And You’re Going To Have To Guess Which One She Wants Today

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}