Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Thank You

EXTREME Drops Another Turd: ‘Here’s To The Losers’ – The 12th and FINAL Nail in the ‘Six’ Coffin
Breaking, Music News

EXTREME Drops Another Turd: ‘Here’s To The Losers’ – The 12th and FINAL Nail in the ‘Six’ Coffin

Chord F. DiscordNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

EXTREME, the band that time forgot (and maybe for good reason 🤔), has unleashed a music video for their earth-shattering…

GUNS N’ ROSES Announces 2026 World Tour; Two New Songs To Arrive In Early December (Maybe, If Axl Remembers)
Events, Music News

GUNS N’ ROSES Announces 2026 World Tour; Two New Songs To Arrive In Early December (Maybe, If Axl Remembers)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 24, 2025November 24, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did anyone REALLY ask for this? GUNS N’ ROSES, those geriatric rockers, are apparently still touring in 2026.…

Sisu Unchained: An Intimate Chat With the Finnish Dream Team of Helander & Tommila About Their Quest for Sweet, Sweet Vengeance
Breaking, Movie News

Sisu Unchained: An Intimate Chat With the Finnish Dream Team of Helander & Tommila About Their Quest for Sweet, Sweet Vengeance

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 💅, because Sisu, that Finnish flick about an old dude who’s basically a one-man army against…

Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises
Breaking, Movie News

Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises

FinnNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Wow, hold onto your hats, folks! Boogie Nights, that cinematic masterpiece (or, you know, just a movie) from 1997 by…

Netherlands Stops Being a Crybaby, China’s Car Factories Rejoice
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Netherlands Stops Being a Crybaby, China’s Car Factories Rejoice

Big ElephantNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Folks, can you believe the level of globalist games being played while our GREAT President Trump is trying to Make…

Project Hail Mary: New Trailer Drops, Guaranteed to Confuse Even Book Readers
Breaking, Movie News

Project Hail Mary: New Trailer Drops, Guaranteed to Confuse Even Book Readers

FinnNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Oh, look, another movie adaptation of a book. 🙄 This time it’s *Project Hail Mary*, because apparently, Hollywood has run…

Gran Turismo 7 Gives New Players a Measly 1.5M Credits While the Franchise Pathetically Brags About Some “Historic” Milestone
Breaking, Games News

Gran Turismo 7 Gives New Players a Measly 1.5M Credits While the Franchise Pathetically Brags About Some “Historic” Milestone

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups! Gran Turismo 7, the game that’s been milking our wallets dry for THREE YEARS, has apparently…

Redcoat: From Page to Screen—Because the Book Wasn’t Boring Enough
Breaking, Movie News

Redcoat: From Page to Screen—Because the Book Wasn’t Boring Enough

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Oh, for the love of all that is holy, Atlas Entertainment and Ghost Machine 👻 are turning *Redcoat* into a…

State Dept to brand Venezuelan Cartel as certified super-villains, because why not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

State Dept to brand Venezuelan Cartel as certified super-villains, because why not

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump in the ongoing battle against globalist scum and their drug-peddling pals! Secretary of…

Lars Ulrich Claims He Breaks a Sweat (Barely) During Metallica Gigs
Breaking, Music News

Lars Ulrich Claims He Breaks a Sweat (Barely) During Metallica Gigs

Chord F. DiscordNovember 16, 2025November 16, 2025

Well, butter my biscuits and call me a Lars apologist! 🧈 Apparently, the California Film Institute, bless their cotton socks,…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 6 7 8 … 14 Next

Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Traffic Jam of the Year at 2026 FuelFest Bay Area
  • Because Hackers Love Homework Too Let’s Strengthen K-12 Cybersecurity Already
  • Media Molecule’s Next Game Will Probably Be a Reboot of Knack with a Battle Royale Mode and a Subscription Service
  • Logitech Finally Creates Products That Won’t Give You Carpal Tunnel After 5 Minutes Of Use Maybe
  • MARK MORTON Still Shocked Nobody Has Copied LAMB OF GOD’s Unique Sound After Only 25 Years of Being Totally Original and Not At All Influenced by Anyone Else

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}