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Tag: The Mountain

Pilates studio owner trades core strength for mountain of problems
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pilates studio owner trades core strength for mountain of problems

Big ElephantAugust 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Sarah Mallory Geis, a Pilates studio owner from San Antonio, Texas, who…

Oh Joy Another Opportunity to Spend 60 Bucks on a Game That Will Probably Crash My Console and Make Me Question Every Life Choice I’ve Ever Made Fall 2 Is Coming
Breaking, Movie News

Oh Joy Another Opportunity to Spend 60 Bucks on a Game That Will Probably Crash My Console and Make Me Question Every Life Choice I’ve Ever Made Fall 2 Is Coming

FinnJuly 31, 2026July 31, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic thrills and spills? Because I’ve got the scoop on the newest,…

Biblical Symbolism Meets Racial Tension at Confederate Monument
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Biblical Symbolism Meets Racial Tension at Confederate Monument

Big ElephantJuly 19, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A 68-year-old photographer, Jean Shifrin, has been documenting the people who…

Why Americans Ski in Europe: Because Their Wallets Deserve a Vacation Too
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Why Americans Ski in Europe: Because Their Wallets Deserve a Vacation Too

Big ElephantMarch 20, 2026March 20, 2026

Oh look, the liberal media is at it again — now they’re trying to convince hardworking Americans that skiing in…

Local Ohio Man Adds ‘Death Threats’ to His Resume, Because Why Not in Today’s Political Circus?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Local Ohio Man Adds ‘Death Threats’ to His Resume, Because Why Not in Today’s Political Circus?

Big ElephantFebruary 7, 2026February 7, 2026

Deep State Stooge Arrested for Threatening America’s Greatest Vice President Yet another unhinged leftist has been caught plotting against one…

Deadhead Disco Charges Fans $300 for the Privilege of Sleeping on a Grateful Dead Tribute Band’s Floor
Live

Deadhead Disco Charges Fans $300 for the Privilege of Sleeping on a Grateful Dead Tribute Band’s Floor

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 18, 2026

A new kind of trip is coming for the price of a ticket. On Sunday, January 18, 2026, at Audio…

TOBIAS FORGE Finally Explains Where GHOST Gets All Its Cool Ghost Stories (Spoiler: Not From His Grandma)
Breaking, Music News

TOBIAS FORGE Finally Explains Where GHOST Gets All Its Cool Ghost Stories (Spoiler: Not From His Grandma)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 23, 2025December 23, 2025

Move over, Shakespeare — there’s a new drama king in town, and he’s wearing a papal robe, face paint, and…

Stardew Valley 1.7 Update: The Long-Awaited Revolution That Might Actually Happen This Time
Breaking, Games News

Stardew Valley 1.7 Update: The Long-Awaited Revolution That Might Actually Happen This Time

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 22, 2025December 22, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Stardew Valley Update 1.7 Is Happening ‘Very Soon’™ — Creator Eric Barone Emerges From Pixelated Cave to Tease…

SAVATAGE Announces 2026 ‘Prelude To Mild Discomfort’ European Tour (Maybe)
Live, Music News

SAVATAGE Announces 2026 ‘Prelude To Mild Discomfort’ European Tour (Maybe)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Those geriatric metal “pioneers” SAVATAGE, bless their hearts, have announced their “Prelude To What?🤔 Dementia?” tour, featuring a…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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