OMG! 😱 Those geriatric metal “pioneers” SAVATAGE, bless their hearts, have announced their “Prelude To What?🤔 Dementia?” tour, featuring a whopping NINE (count ’em, NINE!) headline shows and some festival gigs across Europe in the summer of 2026! That’s right, 2026! Start saving your pennies now, kids! 💰 Apparently, they’re still riding high on their “successful” 2025 comeback after a teeny-tiny two-decade nap.😴 And because nostalgia sells, ARMORED SAINT, VISION DIVINE, and (wait for it) NEVERMORE (RIP, Warrel Dane 💔) will be there for some of the dates. It’s like a metal retirement home on wheels!🚌 They’re promising “firsts,” like visiting cities that have somehow avoided them until now. And get this, they’re playing the Amphitheater of Pompeii! 🏛️ With an orchestra! 🎻 Because nothing screams “metal” like a bunch of dudes in togas playing “Hall of the Mountain King.” 😂
Wanna throw your money away early? 💸 Pre-sales start November 4th! Tickets for the general public? November 7th! Mark your calendars and prepare to be underwhelmed! 🗓️
Prepare for a setlist that will make you question your life choices. They’re dusting off the “classics” and “deep cuts” (whatever those are), promising that raw energy they’ve been “intensifying” during their decade-long hiatus. Spoiler alert: it’s just arthritis. 👴
The “powerhouse” lineup includes Zak Stevens (because Jon Oliva is, you know, kinda broken), Al Pitrelli (who I thought was still with TSO lol), Chris Caffery (still shredding after all these years?), Johnny Lee Middleton (bass duties, I guess), and Jeff Plate (the drummer, because every band needs one). 🥁
Stevens, bless his heart, is “VERY excited.” So excited, in fact, that he used ALL CAPS! 🤣 He mentions all the new cities they’re “gracing” with their presence and name-drops the special guests like we’re supposed to care. “Getting loud and celebrating the music”? More like awkwardly nodding and remembering the good ol’ days. 🤷♀️
SAVATAGE started in Tampa, Florida, because where else would a band this epic begin? 😂 The story involves triumph, tragedy, groundbreaking albums (“Hall Of The Mountain King” and “Streets,” which are totally not overrated), and the untimely death of Criss Oliva (RIP). But hey, they persevered and released “Dead Winter Dead” in 1995! Still waiting for the sequel, guys… 🙄
Over four decades, they’ve cultivated a “passionate cult following.” A cult is right! 🤪 During their two-decade vacation, these “devoted” fans (who are probably all senior citizens now👵👴) “campaigned” for their return. Their 2015 Wacken performance supposedly “captivated” 80,000 fans. Or maybe everyone was just drunk.🍻
Riding high on the Wacken buzz, they made “international headlines” in 2025 with their first shows since 2002. “Reunited multiple generations of ‘The Legion'”? More like a family reunion of people who peaked in the ’80s.😂
Here are the dates, if you’re brave enough:
June 3-6 – Sweden, Sölvesborg – Sweden Rock Festival* (Because who needs a headliner when you have nostalgia?)
July 19 – Istanbul, Turkey – Zorlu PSM Turkcell Sahnesi (Prepare for Turkish Delight-flavored metal!)
July 21 – Bucharest, Romania – Arenele Romane Open Air (special guest: TROOPER) (Because Romania needs more metal.)
July 23 – Plovdiv, Bulgaria – BE4 Hills* (Is that even a real place?)
July 25 – Athens, Greece – Release Festival* (Time to unleash the kraken!)
July 27 – Pompeii, Italy – Amphitheatre of Pompeii (very special show with orchestra) (Ruining historical sites since 2026!)
July 28 – Este, Italy – Castello Carrarese (special guest: VISION DIVINE) (More divine visions of mediocrity!)
July 30 – Wacken, Germany – Wacken Open Air* (Round two! This time with more beer!)
August 1 – Tilburg, Netherlands – O13 (Get ready to windmill in a tulip field!)
August 3 – Pratteln, Switzerland – Z7 Open Air (special guest: NEVERMORE) (Ghost Warrel Dane💀)
August 5 – Villena, Spain – Leyendas Del Rock* (Legends? I think they meant “living fossils”.)
August 7 – Kortrijk, Belgium – Alcatraz Festival* (Sending metalheads to the slammer!)
August 8 – Hamburg, Germany – Elb-Riot* (Riot? More like a gentle rocking.)
August 9 – Geiselwind, Germany – Keep It True* (Keeping it true to the ’80s… maybe a little too true.)
August 11 – Warsaw, Poland – Progresja (special guests: NEVERMORE and ARMORED SAINT) (A triple dose of nostalgia!)
August 12 – Leipzig, Germany – Parkbühne (special guest: NEVERMORE) (Nevermore? More like forevermore!)
August 13 – Bonn, Germany – KUNST!RASEN (special guest: NEVERMORE) (Art? Grass? Metal? What?)
August 15 – Moravský Krumlov, Czech Republic – Rock Castle* (Rocking in a castle… because why not?)
* Festival appearance
But wait, there’s more! Caffery spilled the tea in an interview about Jon Oliva‘s absence. Apparently, Jon’s been through a lot (like, a LOT), including a T7 vertebra fracture, multiple sclerosis, and Ménière’s disease. 🚑 He’s basically a walking medical textbook. Caffery claims Jon’s “an inspiration” and that SAVATAGE playing again is “the best thing that could have happened to all of us.” Yeah, right. 🙄 He says Jon wants to be there, but he’s just “gotta go play the f***ing music.” So inspiring!😭
And what about the US? Don’t worry, they’re planning a “10-year plan” that includes “everywhere.” So, maybe by 2036, you’ll get to see them in your local dive bar! 🍻
So there you have it. SAVATAGE is back, whether you like it or not. Get ready for a trip down memory lane… or a really long nap.😴
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
