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Tag: The Thing

Portland Shooting Sparks Questions About Whether Federal Agents Trained by Watching Too Much TV
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Portland Shooting Sparks Questions About Whether Federal Agents Trained by Watching Too Much TV

Big ElephantJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

Portland Shooting: When Leftist Anarchists Meet Reality and Get Shot In a stunning turn of events that no one saw…

EXTREME Finally Decides to Make Another Album (Yes, They’re Still a Thing)
Breaking, Music News

EXTREME Finally Decides to Make Another Album (Yes, They’re Still a Thing)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: EXTREME ANNOUNCES SEVENTH ALBUM AFTER ONLY 3 YEARS OF SILENCE (A RECORD FOR THEM) 🚨 In a shocking…

Amorphis’s Santteri Kallio Thinks AI Music Videos Are the Future Because He’s Too Lazy to Hire a Director
Breaking, Music News

Amorphis’s Santteri Kallio Thinks AI Music Videos Are the Future Because He’s Too Lazy to Hire a Director

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

Oh great, another day on the internet where we’re not just debating whether robots will replace us, but whether they’ll…

10 Remakes That Completely Butchered the Original in the Funniest Genres Possible
Breaking, Movie News

10 Remakes That Completely Butchered the Original in the Funniest Genres Possible

FinnJanuary 4, 2026January 4, 2026

🚨BREAKING: Hollywood Discovers That Copying Movies Is Cheaper Than Therapy, Proceeds to Ruin Everything We Loved 🚨 In a stunning…

Beastro Preview: Who Knew Spreading Cancer Could Be So Adorable
Breaking, Games News

Beastro Preview: Who Knew Spreading Cancer Could Be So Adorable

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

Beastro: The Most Cozy Apocalypse You’ll Ever Experience (While Trying to Not Burn Soup) 😂🔥🍲 So, picture this: you’re a…

‘Anaconda’ Review: A Horror of a Comedy That Slithered Into Your Brain
Breaking, Movie News

‘Anaconda’ Review: A Horror of a Comedy That Slithered Into Your Brain

FinnDecember 24, 2025December 24, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Hollywood Officially Out of Ideas, Now Just Remaking Movies About Remaking Movies 🚨 In a stunning development that…

Top 5 Christmas Games Where Santa Probably Needs Therapy
Breaking, Games News

Top 5 Christmas Games Where Santa Probably Needs Therapy

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 24, 2025December 24, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Christmas Exists, And So Do These Five Video Games (Probably) 🎄 So, in the spirit of seasonal chaos…

As Epstein Releases Near, Americans Realize Trump Probably Just Knew Where the Good Bagels Were
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

As Epstein Releases Near, Americans Realize Trump Probably Just Knew Where the Good Bagels Were

Big ElephantDecember 13, 2025December 13, 2025

House Democrats Release New Epstein Photos in Latest Desperate Attempt to Drag Trump Through the Mud In a move that…

The Old ‘Street Fighter’ Movie Is Actually Good
Breaking, Movie News

The Old ‘Street Fighter’ Movie Is Actually Good

FinnDecember 13, 2025December 13, 2025

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: A 14-Year-Old’s Birthday Trauma Exposed in Shocking 1994 ‘Street Fighter’ Film Review 🎂💥 So there I was,…

Necrobutcher Thinks Mayhem’s Been Around So Long Because He’s Super Invested, LOL
Breaking, Music News

Necrobutcher Thinks Mayhem’s Been Around So Long Because He’s Super Invested, LOL

Chord F. DiscordNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

Bassist Jørn “Necrobutcher” Stubberud, the only reason Norwegian black metallers MAYHEM haven’t faded into obscurity, deigned to speak to Mexico’s…

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Latest posts

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  • EA SPORTS College Football 27 Hands-On Preview: Because You Clearly Didn’t Waste Enough Time Playing NCAA 14

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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