Avengers: Endgame Returns to Theaters to Distract You From Impending Doom
OMG! 😱 Did you hear the earth-shattering news? Avengers: Endgame, the movie that made you cry harder than when your…
Tag: Theaters
OMG! Bone Temple Trailer: Dr. Kelson vs Jimmy Crystal – 28 Years of Awkwardness
OMG! 😱 Sony Pictures just dropped the *second* trailer for 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple, and let’s be real,…
James Cameron Horrified AI Might Steal His Job Directing Avatars
So, apparently, James Cameron, the guy who brought you such cinematic masterpieces as blue cat people and the unsinkable Molly…
‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’: The Last Airbender to Our Patience?
James Cameron, bless his heart 👴, has graced us with three Avatar movies so far. And guess what? He wants…
Jason Bateman Humiliated by Furries Obsessed With Cartoon Fox
Jason Bateman, bless his heart, is *vaguely* aware that you exist, you degenerate furries, and that some of you are…
‘Spider-Man: Brand New Day’s Secret Villain Finally REVEALED (You Won’t BELIEVE Who It Is)
Alright, listen up, true believers! 🤡 We all KNOW Spider-Man: Brand New Day is, like, TOTALLY set in the gritty,…
James Cameron dives deep into Billie Eilish’s 3D concert – will it be longer than Avatar
Oh, dear God, someone stop James Cameron! 🛑 I thought slaving away on those never-ending Avatar sequels (how many are…
‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells
Hollywood elites are at it again, folks! “Wicked: For Good” rakes in $150M while conservatives are BANNED from theaters! Is…
“The Chronology of Water” Trailer: Witness Kristen Stewart Direct Imogen Poots (and Probably Overthink It)
Oh, sweet baby Jesus, another artsy-fartsy film nobody asked for! The Chronology of Water, a cinematic masterpiece (according to who,…
Fortnite Next Season: Quentin Tarantino’s Unfinished Symphony of Destruction (Probably With More Dancing)
🤡 Hold onto your hats, folks, because the cinematic masterpiece that is Kill Bill is about to get the Fortnite…