Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Theaters

“SNO-CIETY” – Warren Miller’s Epic Apres-Ski Shenanigans in Sun Valley, Bro
Live

“SNO-CIETY” – Warren Miller’s Epic Apres-Ski Shenanigans in Sun Valley, Bro

Chuck B. BallsyOctober 31, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Warren Miller’s SNO-CIETY is hitting theaters near you! 🤣 From the Scottish Highlands, Finland, Whitewater, BC, to Denver,…

Scream 7 Trailer: Ghostface Finally Gets a Personality (Maybe)
Breaking, Movie News

Scream 7 Trailer: Ghostface Finally Gets a Personality (Maybe)

FinnOctober 30, 2025October 30, 2025

👂Psst!👂 Did you peasants actually strain your👂👂 to the very end of that ✨glorious✨Scream 7 trailer? I bet you didn’t.…

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Bleecker Street, bless their tiny, misguided hearts, has apparently thrown some cash at Vertigo Live and that poor sap Rob…

Adam Driver’s Genius Star Wars Pitch: Disney Said “Nah”
Breaking, Movie News

Adam Driver’s Genius Star Wars Pitch: Disney Said “Nah”

FinnOctober 21, 2025October 25, 2025

Wow, Adam Driver, bless his heart, actually thought Disney would let him make a whole Star Wars film about Kylo…

Netflix Resurrects K-Pop Exorcists Karaoke Nightmare: Prepare to Cringe This Halloween
Breaking, Movie News

Netflix Resurrects K-Pop Exorcists Karaoke Nightmare: Prepare to Cringe This Halloween

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 💅 because Netflix is dragging KPop Demon Hunters Sing-Along out of the streaming graveyard and into…

Ace Frehley’s Orgasm After Trump Correctly Pronounced His Name: A KISS-Related Kennedy Center Honor Story
Breaking, Music News

Ace Frehley’s Orgasm After Trump Correctly Pronounced His Name: A KISS-Related Kennedy Center Honor Story

Chord F. DiscordOctober 19, 2025October 19, 2025

Oh, dear Lord, can you believe what I just stumbled upon? 🙄 Apparently, MÖTLEY CRÜE’s John 5 (yes, the guy…

OFFICIAL LED ZEPPELIN DOCUMENTARY ‘BECOMING LED ZEPPELIN’ Nominated for an Award Because Apparently Critics Have Nothing Better to Do
Breaking, Music News

OFFICIAL LED ZEPPELIN DOCUMENTARY ‘BECOMING LED ZEPPELIN’ Nominated for an Award Because Apparently Critics Have Nothing Better to Do

Chord F. DiscordOctober 15, 2025October 15, 2025

Sony Pictures Classics’ “Becoming Led Zeppelin”, a film about a band formed approximately 147 years ago (give or take a…

“Send Help” Trailer: Sam Raimi Finally Crawls Out of His Hole After 15 Years (Were We Waiting?)
Breaking, Movie News

“Send Help” Trailer: Sam Raimi Finally Crawls Out of His Hole After 15 Years (Were We Waiting?)

FinnOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

Oh great, another Sam Raimi movie! 🙄 As if we haven’t suffered enough, the guy who peaked with Spider-Man 2…

‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ Fans Somehow Okay With Megan Fox Playing a Chicken
Breaking, Movie News

‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ Fans Somehow Okay With Megan Fox Playing a Chicken

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

HOLY. CHICKEN. NUGGETS. 🐔 They actually cast Megan Fox in Five Nights at Freddy’s 2. As Toy Chica? Are you…

Edgar Wright’s “The Running Man” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Expectations Subverted (Maybe)
Breaking, Movie News

Edgar Wright’s “The Running Man” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Expectations Subverted (Maybe)

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Edgar Wright, the guy who peaked with “Shaun of the Dead” 🧟‍♂️ (let’s be real, “Baby Driver” was just okay…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 17 18 19 … 25 Next

Latest posts

  • Emmys Producers Warn Aging Stars Deadline For ‘In Memoriam’ Segment Midnight
  • Democrats Gain Momentum, Republicans Construct Obstacle To Progress Literally
  • Demi Lovato Rocks Out with Pabllo Vittar at Rock in Rio
  • J Balvin Brings Brazilian Beats to Rock in Rio Festival Stage
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social September 13 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.