Jason Bateman, bless his heart, is *vaguely* aware that you exist, you degenerate furries, and that some of you are writing unbelievably questionable fanfics about a cartoon fox.🦊 Like, get a grip, people. Seriously.
The Zootopia star, who lends his voice to the suave, totally-not-a-daddy-material fox Nick Wilde (allegedly), was recently subjected to questions about the…ahem…*affections* some fans harbor for his animated alter ego. His reaction? A potent cocktail of utter bewilderment and, dare we say, a smidge of pride. 🦨
During a riveting “True or False” segment with the journalistic titans at vt. (probably filmed in someone’s basement), Bateman and co-star Ginnifer Goodwin (who, let’s be honest, is probably questioning her life choices at this point) were confronted with the cold, hard truth. Goodwin, bless her soul, delicately broached the subject of Nick Wilde’s, uh, “sex appeal” among certain… *ahem*…”enthusiasts.”
“Nick Wilde has a Reddit thread full of people debating whether he’s hot or not,” Goodwin stated, probably while fighting back laughter. Bateman, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else, confirmed, “This is true. My daughters told me this. It’s very weird. I guess it’s flattering.” Flattering? Dude, they’re drawing NSFW images of a FOX. Get real.
“Where did it come from though? I guess, are they saying the fox itself is handsome?” the actor pondered, clearly wrestling with the implications of his animated hunk status. As if. It’s all about that Bateman charm oozing through a digital fox avatar.
The interviewer (who probably regrets their career path) clarified that it’s the unholy trinity of “the attitude, the voice and the eyes” that sets hearts aflutter (or something). Bateman, smirking like he *totally* gets it (sure, Jan), agreed, as did Goodwin and Ke Huy Quan, who was probably just there for the free snacks. 🍿
In a separate interrogation er, interview with ScreenRant, Bateman and Goodwin were forced to confront the abyss that is WildeHopps – the fanatical “ship” between Nick Wilde and Judy Hopps. You know, because interspecies relationships between a bunny and a fox are totally normal and healthy. 🙄
The internet is, naturally, drowning in WildeHopps content: fanfics, social media shrines, and even webcomics (including the infamous “Zootopia abortion comic,” which we’re legally obligated to mention exists and equally obligated to never discuss again).
While Bateman was apparently blissfully unaware of the WildeHopps dumpster fire before, he’s now been baptized by its flames. 🔥
Goodwin, meanwhile, is “not sure how I feel about” the ship or the legions of fans who think Nick would be the “perfect boyfriend.” “It’s very confusing for me,” she deadpanned. Yeah, we bet. Try explaining *that* to your therapist.
But fear not, dear readers, because Nick Wilde and Judy Hopps are merely the latest in a long line of cartoon animals to ignite the passions of the terminally online.
Other notable examples of fur-bait include Robin Hood (Disney version, obviously), Mr. Wolf from The Bad Guys, Lola Bunny from Space Jam (okay, fine, that one’s *sort of* understandable), and Shadow the Hedgehog. (And yes, casting Keanu Reeves as Shadow was a calculated move to lure in the remaining adults. 😈)
Zootopia 2 is now playing in theaters, so go waste your money on that instead of writing more furry fanfiction. ✌️
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
