Breaking: Blind Guardian Bravely Stumbles Through North America in 2025, Kicking Off Tour in Fort Lauderdale Because Why Not
OMG! 😱 The geriatric German power metallers BLIND GUARDIAN, bless their little hobbit hearts, 👴👵 actually dared to kick off…
Tag: There Will
Justin Long Discovers a Secret So Horrific, It’ll Make You Question Your Life Choices (and Maybe His)
Oh, look, another gritty cop drama where the hero has to team up with the very people he’s sworn to…
Toronto Game Expo 2025: Prepare for Disappointment, Local Gamers/Cosplayers
Oh, honey, the Toronto Game Expo 2025 is back for its fall edition, and guess what? They couldn’t even keep…
SABATON’s New Stage Show: So Big, It Probably Violates Several Building Codes
SABATON, those Swedish metallers who haven’t figured out that history is, like, *totally* boring, decided to unleash their “The Legendary…
The Game Awards 2025 Partners With Prime Video To Subject Viewers To More Ads
OMG! 🤯 The Game Awards, that totally legit and not-at-all-rigged awards show where Geoff Keighley gets to play kingmaker 👑,…
Pokémon Legends: Z-A DLC – Get Ready to Empty Your Wallet, Trainers
Oh, sweet Arceus, another cash grab!💰 Not even a month after Pokémon Legends: Z-A dropped, Game Freak is already dangling…
CNN’s 2025 Election Day Brain-Meltdown: 5 Questions That Will Make You Question Reality (and CNN’s Sanity)
The Libs are at it Again! Another Day, Another Conspiracy to Rig Elections Against Our Beloved President Trump! Americans are…
Paul McCartney’s New Doc Teaser: Prepare for a Beatlemania Relapse
Man on the Run 🏃♂️ is here to bore you with yet another intimate journey through Paul McCartney’s life, because…
Iron Maiden, Megadeth, and Anthrax Announce Geriatric Reunion Tour for 2026, Will Probably Need a Walker
Ah, yes, the geriatric rockers IRON MAIDEN, bless their cotton socks, are dusting off their walkers and venturing out on…
Xbox Big Boss Man Nukes Next-Gen Console Hype Train, Gamers Weep
Oh honey, bless your heart, did you REALLY think Xbox was gonna ditch the console game? 🤣 Sarah Bond, the…