SOEN? More Like SO-WHAT? Band Announces Seventh Album, ‘Reliance’ (Yawn)
SOEN, those Swedish purveyors of… uh… *progressive metal* (🤣), are gracing us with their seventh studio album, “Reliance”, dropping on…
Tag: Tool
Gamescom 2025: “Routine”—Yeah, Sure, Another “Survival Horror Classic” In The Making
OMG 😱! After a geological epoch—more than a decade, you peasants!—Routine, the game that’s been more vaporware than actual ware,…
Federal Reserve Official Claims ATL Mansion Is Just a ‘Hobby Home,’ Says It Needs More Throw Pillows
Oh, the tangled web these swamp creatures weave! Looks like Lisa Cook, the darling of the radical left and alleged…
Brent Hinds’ Untimely Departure: Atlanta’s Music Scene Weeps (Or Maybe Just Has Allergies)
Atlanta News First, purveyors of the finest clickbait, have graced us with a video report on the totally unexpected demise…
Brent Hinds, Who Used To Shred for MASTODON, Now Shredded by Motorcycle
So, apparently, according to Atlanta News First (who we totally trust, BTW 😉), Brent Hinds, ex-guitarist from that band your…
DAVID ELLEFSON: From Bassist to Trust Fund Baby in One Easy Step
In a recent interview with the highly intellectual and not-at-all-clickbaity “Brutally Delicious” podcast, ex-MEGADETH bassist David Ellefson (aka Junior, aka…
BIOHAZARD Dumps Another ‘Single’ – This Time It’s ‘Eyes On Six’ (Whatever That Means)
OMG! 🤣The geriatric crew of BIOHAZARD, those relics from the Stone Age of Nu-Metal, have finally dropped a music video…
“The Man In My Basement” Trailer: Prepare for Willem Dafoe’s Oscar-Worthy Performance (as a Basement Dweller)
Oh, honey, let’s talk about “The Man in My Basement,” because nothing screams “riveting cinema” like a dusty basement and…
Magic: The Gathering and Avatar: The Last Airbender Crossover: Prepare for Disappointment!
Oh, honey, hold onto your hats because Wizards of the Coast is at it again! 🙄 Fresh off the heels…
Sharon Osbourne Roasts Ridiculous Claims of $190M Charity Windfall: ‘Yeah Right’
Sharon Osbourne, the puppet master 🎭 behind the Prince of Darkness 🦇 (RIP, btw, spoiler alert 🚨), has come out…