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Tag: Twitter

Your Burning Qs Wanted: Should We Just Hand Toddlers the Internet Like It’s a Glitter Bomb Waiting to Explode
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Your Burning Qs Wanted: Should We Just Hand Toddlers the Internet Like It’s a Glitter Bomb Waiting to Explode

Big ElephantDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

BREAKING: Woke Australia Declares War on Freedom, Decides Kids Belong to the State Now Well folks, it’s happened! The Aussie…

“Skip the Vacation, Your Robot Overlords Won’t Train Themselves”
Events

“Skip the Vacation, Your Robot Overlords Won’t Train Themselves”

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 7, 2025

Over 250 suckers have RSVPed to this AI snoozefest! 🎉 The holidays are *perfect* for learning how to replace your…

Netflix’s ‘Assassin’s Creed’ Finds Its Poor Soul, Set to Film in Pizza Land
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Netflix’s ‘Assassin’s Creed’ Finds Its Poor Soul, Set to Film in Pizza Land

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Oh, great, another Assassin’s Creed adaptation! 🙄 Because the movie wasn’t a colossal dumpster fire 🔥 enough, Netflix has decided…

GOP Tantrum Over Trump’s Mystery Health Plan: A Comedy Show in the Making
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Tantrum Over Trump’s Mystery Health Plan: A Comedy Show in the Making

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re whining that some RINOs are squawking about President Trump’s AMAZING new…

X Marks the Spot: Exposing Foreign MAGA Maniacs (According to CNN)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

X Marks the Spot: Exposing Foreign MAGA Maniacs (According to CNN)

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is clutching its pearls because some pro-Trump accounts on X (formerly Twitter, may it rest in…

Fortnite Zero Hour Leak: Prepare for the Lamest Finale Ever
Breaking, Games News

Fortnite Zero Hour Leak: Prepare for the Lamest Finale Ever

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Oh. My. God. 😱 Is Fortnite Chapter 6 FINALLY ending? Like, seriously, after all this time? They’re calling it “Zero…

CNN: Trump’s Twitter Fingers vs Khashoggi: A Human Rights Comedy Show
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Trump’s Twitter Fingers vs Khashoggi: A Human Rights Comedy Show

Big ElephantNovember 19, 2025November 18, 2025

Folks, can you believe the Fake News is STILL whining about Khashoggi? It’s 2025, Trump’s in his second term, and…

Rockstar Devs Throw Tantrum After Management Axe Some Slackers
Breaking, Games News

Rockstar Devs Throw Tantrum After Management Axe Some Slackers

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 14, 2025November 14, 2025

Oh, the drama! 🎭 More than 200 Rockstar North staffers, bless their cotton socks, are clutching their pearls 🦪 and…

Judge Delays Epic vs Google Settlement: Demands Less Secrecy, More Shenanigans
Breaking, Games News

Judge Delays Epic vs Google Settlement: Demands Less Secrecy, More Shenanigans

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 12, 2025November 12, 2025

Okay, gamers, gather ’round because this is HUGE! 🤩 Remember that time Epic Games and Google went at it like…

Abdul El-Sayed Deletes Every Tweet Ever Saying ‘Defund the What Now?’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Abdul El-Sayed Deletes Every Tweet Ever Saying ‘Defund the What Now?’

Big ElephantNovember 10, 2025November 10, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Exposed! Crooked Abdul El-Sayed, a radical leftist running for Senate in Michigan, has been caught scrubbing…

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Latest posts

  • Tekken 8 Now Ruined by Yujiro Hanma from Baki Because Who Needs Actual Tekken Characters Anyway and Also Harada Still Can’t Get Over His Waffle House Trauma
  • SEVENDUST’s LAJON WITHERSPOON Reveals Shocking Truth: We’re All Just A Bunch Of Equally Important Dudes With Beards And Guitar Riffs Who Can’t Decide On Anything
  • Simplification des Réglementations et de la Fiscalité pour les Gens qui Aiment se Faire Mal au Cerveau avec des Tas de Papierasserie
  • Dying Fetus at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)
  • Cephalic Carnage at Maryland Deathfest 2026 (05/24/2026, Day 4)

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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