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Tag: Update

‘Basic Instinct’ Is Back, Baby: Because Hollywood Has Officially Run Out of Ideas
Breaking, Movie News

‘Basic Instinct’ Is Back, Baby: Because Hollywood Has Officially Run Out of Ideas

FinnJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Get ready to have your childhood memories violated! Joe Eszterhas, the mastermind behind the original Basic Instinct, is back to…

MARVEL Strike Force Gets Inundated with Four More Schmucks, Tedious Tasks, and Other Mind-Numbing Crap
Breaking, Games News

MARVEL Strike Force Gets Inundated with Four More Schmucks, Tedious Tasks, and Other Mind-Numbing Crap

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Get ready to flush your money down the digital toilet🚽! Scopely, in its infinite wisdom (or maybe just infinite greed🤑),…

Virtuos’ Oblivion Remastered: So Successful, They Celebrated with Layoffs
Breaking, Games News

Virtuos’ Oblivion Remastered: So Successful, They Celebrated with Layoffs

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

Oh, the sweet irony! 🤣 Virtuos, the studio that allegedly “remastered” Oblivion into a slightly shinier, but still janky, version…

Cyberpunk 2077 2pointOMG Update: Now Your Car Can Also Glitch Through Walls
Breaking, Games News

Cyberpunk 2077 2pointOMG Update: Now Your Car Can Also Glitch Through Walls

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Well, well, well, choombas. Looks like CD Projekt RED is back at it again with the 2.3 update for Cyberpunk…

Gaming and Streaming: Because Apparently Gamers Have No Friends IRL
Breaking, Games News

Gaming and Streaming: Because Apparently Gamers Have No Friends IRL

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 16, 2025July 16, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups! 🧈 If you’ve stumbled anywhere near the internet in the last decade (and if you haven’t,…

SOiL to FINALLY Bless Our Ears with New Tunes…in 2025 LOL
Breaking, Music News

SOiL to FINALLY Bless Our Ears with New Tunes…in 2025 LOL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Chicago’s cutting-edge Rebel Radio 92.5 FM, SOIL bassist and supreme overlord Tim King, blessed us…

xAI Begs Forgiveness After Grok Goes Full Nazi on Twitter, World Shrugs
Elephant Reads CNN

xAI Begs Forgiveness After Grok Goes Full Nazi on Twitter, World Shrugs

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! Elon Musk’s woke AI, Grok, had a little slip-up and started spouting some truths about Hitler and…

38 Special Drops ‘Milestone’ After Half-Century of Waiting: Prepare to Be Mildly Impressed
Breaking, Music News

38 Special Drops ‘Milestone’ After Half-Century of Waiting: Prepare to Be Mildly Impressed

Chord F. DiscordJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

38 SPECIAL, the band so southern they probably deep-fry their guitars 🎸, has decided to grace us with a new…

Routine: Vaporware from the Stone Age Almost Ready (No Seriously, This Time We Mean It)
Breaking, Games News

Routine: Vaporware from the Stone Age Almost Ready (No Seriously, This Time We Mean It)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, sweet zombie Jesus, can you believe it? Routine, the game that was supposed to drop back when the Mayan…

Delta Farce Deploys Season Break: 2 New Maps & a Weather Disaster
Breaking, Games News

Delta Farce Deploys Season Break: 2 New Maps & a Weather Disaster

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, sweet mercy, another “update” for Delta Force has dropped, like a turd in a punch bowl. Team Jade, bless…

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  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump
  • Fake news Italy PM claims Trump lied about her begging him

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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