Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Weapons

James Bond Gets Freebies To Lure Players Back Into 007 First Light
Breaking, Games News

James Bond Gets Freebies To Lure Players Back Into 007 First Light

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 1, 2026October 1, 2026

IO Interactive is actually doing something right for once, and it’s a miracle. The developer has announced the release of…

Pentagon Unveils Killer Robots Amid Lecture On Toxic Masculinity
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pentagon Unveils Killer Robots Amid Lecture On Toxic Masculinity

Big ElephantSeptember 30, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth announced a new Pentagon autonomous warfare…

Tension Guaranteed: Alien Deathstorm Squeezes Thirty Minutes of Thrills
Breaking, Games News

Tension Guaranteed: Alien Deathstorm Squeezes Thirty Minutes of Thrills

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 30, 2026September 30, 2026

As I sat down to play Alien Deathstorm at gamescom 2026, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but what I…

Trump Denies Discussing Arms Sale to China, Totally Not Lying
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Denies Discussing Arms Sale to China, Totally Not Lying

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump said Monday that he did not discuss the…

Pentagon’s Anthropic Blacklist Deemed Totally Not Orwellian
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pentagon’s Anthropic Blacklist Deemed Totally Not Orwellian

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A federal appeals court just ruled that the Department of Defense…

Silent Hill reboot gets Resident Evil producer to redo the horror
Breaking, Games News

Silent Hill reboot gets Resident Evil producer to redo the horror

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 23, 2026September 23, 2026

Get ready for another potential trainwreck in the world of video game adaptations, folks. Roy Lee, the producer behind the…

Politicians Suddenly Concerned About Tech They Don’t Understand
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Politicians Suddenly Concerned About Tech They Don’t Understand

Big ElephantSeptember 19, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest controversy surrounding the US military’s use of AI in targeting…

Another Beloved Game Gets Soulless Movie Treatment Courtesy of Desperate Studio Execs
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Another Beloved Game Gets Soulless Movie Treatment Courtesy of Desperate Studio Execs

FinnSeptember 18, 2026September 18, 2026

The video game movie craze is in full swing, and it’s showing no signs of slowing down. With The Super…

US Military Almost Fell For Own AI Prank Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Military Almost Fell For Own AI Prank Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 18, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a recent incident where a Chinese ship in the Middle East was…

Saudi Arabia Gets New F-35 Jets Because Peace Is Overrated
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Saudi Arabia Gets New F-35 Jets Because Peace Is Overrated

Big ElephantSeptember 18, 2026

The Trump administration has just announced that it’s approved a potential multi-billion dollar sale of F-35 fighter jets to Saudi…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 17 Next

Latest posts

  • Christa Pike Still Alive Somehow
  • Noah Kahan Drops New Song for Hunger Games Prequel
  • Drake Drops Four Fresh Tracks Including Choosin Texas Remix
  • AI brings fake news to campaign ads with impressive realism somehow
  • KATSEYE Taps DJ Pedro Sampaio For Brazilian Funk HOOTIE FRUTTI Remix

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.