Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Wish

Dee Snider and Lita Ford Ravage Missouri With Geriatric Rock Show, Locals Pray for Quieter Afterlife
Breaking, Music News

Dee Snider and Lita Ford Ravage Missouri With Geriatric Rock Show, Locals Pray for Quieter Afterlife

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

DEE SNIDER, the mouth that roared (or maybe just squeaked), graced Lita Ford’s stage on Friday, October 3, at The…

Niki de Saint Phalle’s Sleeper Hit Gets a 4K Facelift (Finally)
Live

Niki de Saint Phalle’s Sleeper Hit Gets a 4K Facelift (Finally)

Chuck B. BallsySeptember 26, 2025

**OMG! 7th House is gracing us with Niki de Saint Phalle’s “A DREAM LONGER THAN THE NIGHT” (aka *Un rêve…

Brazilian FM Claims Trump’s Brazil Intel Comes From Wish
Elephant Reads CNN

Brazilian FM Claims Trump’s Brazil Intel Comes From Wish

Big ElephantSeptember 23, 2025September 23, 2025

Oh, bless their hearts! The Brits are finally realizing who’s boss! Of course, it’s a “suck-up” – but in the…

Tokyo Game Show 2025: Prepare for Disappointment!
Games News, Live

Tokyo Game Show 2025: Prepare for Disappointment!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 21, 2025September 21, 2025

Oh, look, it’s that time of the year again! 🎉 Tokyo Game Show 2025 is gracing us with its 29th…

TWISTED SISTER Thinks It’s Still 1984, Announces Reunion Concert for 2026 (As If Anyone Cares)
Breaking, Movie News

TWISTED SISTER Thinks It’s Still 1984, Announces Reunion Concert for 2026 (As If Anyone Cares)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

TWISTED SISTER, those purveyors of fine 80s cheese 🧀, have apparently crawled out of whatever crypt they were hibernating in…

“Batman’s Most Important Scene: Prepare to Have Your Mind Mildly Bent”
Breaking, Movie News

“Batman’s Most Important Scene: Prepare to Have Your Mind Mildly Bent”

FinnSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Prepare yourselves, peasants, for the revelation of the *most important* Batman scene EVER! 🙄 You thought it was the death…

CANDLEMASS Reunites With MESSIAH MARCOLIN After Two Decades Of Him Probably Just Forgetting The Way To The Stage
Breaking, Music News

CANDLEMASS Reunites With MESSIAH MARCOLIN After Two Decades Of Him Probably Just Forgetting The Way To The Stage

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 14, 2025September 14, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE it! CANDLEMASS, those doom metal dinosaurs 🦖, actually managed to wheel out their *former* (and…

Pink Floyd Dumps ‘Wish You Were Here 50’ 50th-Anniversary Cash Grab on Unsuspecting Fans
Breaking, Music News

Pink Floyd Dumps ‘Wish You Were Here 50’ 50th-Anniversary Cash Grab on Unsuspecting Fans

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 12, 2025September 12, 2025

Oh, great, another cash grab! PINK FLOYD, bless their boomer hearts, are “celebrating” the 50th anniversary of “Wish You Were…

Shinedown’s “Killing Fields” Triumphs, Proving Active Rock Still Exists (Apparently)
Breaking, Music News

Shinedown’s “Killing Fields” Triumphs, Proving Active Rock Still Exists (Apparently)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

SHINEDOWN, bless their hearts, has done it again! Their latest auditory masterpiece, “Killing Fields”, has clawed its way to the…

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Morphs into Methuselah for New Flick, Sheds 3 lbs of Pure Muscle
Breaking, Movie News

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Morphs into Methuselah for New Flick, Sheds 3 lbs of Pure Muscle

FinnSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

So, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, bless his heart 🙄, is apparently shedding his mountain of muscle 💪 to morph into…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 9 10 11 Next

Latest posts

  • Washington Residents Get Free Barbecue Courtesy of Wildfire Season
  • Investors eager to throw money at Venezuela’s powder keg economy
  • Laniidae in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)
  • GODSMACK Appears To 700,000 People At Poland’s POL’AND’ROCK FESTIVAL
  • Enemies & Allies in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}