Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

Trump’s guide to insulting female journalists: From ‘piggy’ to ‘ugly,’ a masterclass in misogyny
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s guide to insulting female journalists: From ‘piggy’ to ‘ugly,’ a masterclass in misogyny

Big ElephantNovember 27, 2025November 27, 2025

The Failing New York Times, desperate for relevance, has launched another pathetic attack on our glorious President Trump, claiming he’s…

Walmart’s Need for Speed: From Aisle 5 to the Finish Line, Can They Outrun Amazon in Diapers and Toilet Paper?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Walmart’s Need for Speed: From Aisle 5 to the Finish Line, Can They Outrun Amazon in Diapers and Toilet Paper?

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Walmart, bowing to the woke mob, replaces hardworking Americans with commie robots! I knew it! Walmart, now run by radical…

Where Nagging Neighs Become Life Coaches for Tiny Humans | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Where Nagging Neighs Become Life Coaches for Tiny Humans | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Another day, another load of liberal propaganda from Fake News CNN! This time, they’re trying to make us feel all…

CNN asks: Can these losers relight ‘Altadena’s pathetic little fire hazard’ for Xmas
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN asks: Can these losers relight ‘Altadena’s pathetic little fire hazard’ for Xmas

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

CNN reports that some Californian town got torched by wildfires, and some libtard got a tattoo of a star because,…

Gobble ‘Til You Wobble: Thanksgiving Restaurant Rush as Cooking at Home Becomes a Luxury for the Elite
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gobble ‘Til You Wobble: Thanksgiving Restaurant Rush as Cooking at Home Becomes a Luxury for the Elite

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

New York – Looks like even liberals are ditching their virtue-signaling, organic, locally-sourced Thanksgiving nightmares and heading to restaurants this…

DC Mayor Bowser, who tap-danced with Trump (bless her heart), bails on reelection, probably to pursue a career in interpretive dance
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DC Mayor Bowser, who tap-danced with Trump (bless her heart), bails on reelection, probably to pursue a career in interpretive dance

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Another one bites the dust! DC Mayor Muriel Bowser, bless her heart, is throwing in the towel after a decade…

Travel Bags: For When You Want to Look Like You Have Your Life Together; Fashion Crimes: Don’t Become a Victim; Pie Wars: The Sweetest Battle
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Travel Bags: For When You Want to Look Like You Have Your Life Together; Fashion Crimes: Don’t Become a Victim; Pie Wars: The Sweetest Battle

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Welcome to 5 Things PM, where we dissect the liberal lunacy of the day! Americans, bless their hearts, are bracing…

HP to fire 6,000 humans, replaces them with Roombas by 2028
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

HP to fire 6,000 humans, replaces them with Roombas by 2028

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Folks, can you believe it? HP, bowing down to the Woke AI gods, is planning to axe thousands of jobs!…

Wounded Knee: Government Still Dishing Out Medals Like Candy, Descendants Still Salty
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wounded Knee: Government Still Dishing Out Medals Like Candy, Descendants Still Salty

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Another Day, Another Liberal Lament: Wounded Knee Edition! The woke mob is at it again, folks, trying to rewrite history…

Ohio School’s Gratitude So Contagious, It’s Basically a Zombie Apocalypse of Thankfulness
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ohio School’s Gratitude So Contagious, It’s Basically a Zombie Apocalypse of Thankfulness

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Another day, another pathetic attempt by the liberal media to brainwash our kids! This “Positivity Pod” nonsense in Ohio is…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 24 25 26 … 94 Next

Latest posts

  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on specific date
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on given date
  • JAY-Z Celebrates Reasonable Doubt 30th Anniversary with Epic Concert Moments
  • JAY Z Celebrates 30 Years of Reasonable Doubt at Yankee Stadium
  • Government Curious About Leaks Not Classified Information Apparently

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}