Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

Lawmakers Triggered After Boat Gets Smashed, Want to See the Carnage and Whine About Round Two
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lawmakers Triggered After Boat Gets Smashed, Want to See the Carnage and Whine About Round Two

Big ElephantDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Another day, another Democrat witch hunt! Now they’re clutching their pearls over Secretary Hegseth taking out the trash in the…

Oops! Alina Habba’s Side Hustle as US Attorney Gets a Big Fat “NOPE” from Appeals Court
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Alina Habba’s Side Hustle as US Attorney Gets a Big Fat “NOPE” from Appeals Court

Big ElephantDecember 1, 2025December 1, 2025

Folks, can you believe this deep-state garbage? A federal appeals court, probably filled with card-carrying members of the radical left,…

Brian Walshe’s “Surprise” Guilty Plea: Did He Trip and Accidentally Murder His Wife or What | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Brian Walshe’s “Surprise” Guilty Plea: Did He Trip and Accidentally Murder His Wife or What | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 30, 2025November 30, 2025

Another day, another tragic case of what happens when you let the liberals run wild! A Massachusetts jury is being…

US Lies | Clown News Network
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Lies | Clown News Network

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Rahm Emanuel, swamp creature extraordinaire, sheds crocodile tears after National Guard mishap. Is this another deep state plot to undermine…

Atreyu’s Brandon Saller: “We’re Not Political, We Just Accidentally Wrote Songs That Sound Political, Whoops”
Breaking, Music News

Atreyu’s Brandon Saller: “We’re Not Political, We Just Accidentally Wrote Songs That Sound Political, Whoops”

Chord F. DiscordNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

So, Ore Bihovsky from TotalRock’s “Louder” show decided to grace ATREYU vocalist Brandon Saller with a question of utmost importance:…

Passenger Planes About to Become Unmanned Aerial Vehicles Thanks to the Sun, Oops
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Passenger Planes About to Become Unmanned Aerial Vehicles Thanks to the Sun, Oops

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Globalist Airbus Planes PLOT to Fall From Sky Thanks to Solar Flares! Is This Another Deep State Attack on American…

Northwestern U caves to Trump, coughs up $75M for thawed cash
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Northwestern U caves to Trump, coughs up $75M for thawed cash

Big ElephantNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

Another Woke University Caves to Trump! Northwestern Univesity had $790 million in federal funding frozen and now are forced to…

Oops! US Military Did a Whoopsie: Double Tapped a ‘Totally Not a Drug Boat’ (Again!)
Another Win for Trump: Eliminating Narco-Terrorists, One Boat at a Time!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! US Military Did a Whoopsie: Double Tapped a ‘Totally Not a Drug Boat’ (Again!)

Big ElephantNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Another boatload of scumbag narcoterrorists bites the dust thanks to President Trump’s decisive action! The liberal media, of course, is…

Tunisian Choir’s Epic Journey: From Revolution to Random Renditions, Thousands of Miles for a Gig
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tunisian Choir’s Epic Journey: From Revolution to Random Renditions, Thousands of Miles for a Gig

Big ElephantNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Oh, great, another feel-good story from CNN about the “Arab Spring,” likely funded by Soros himself! Tunisia88, a choir born…

Orbán and Putin’s Bro-Date in Moscow: Trump Card Fuels Hungary’s Gas-Guzzling Adventure
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Orbán and Putin’s Bro-Date in Moscow: Trump Card Fuels Hungary’s Gas-Guzzling Adventure

Big ElephantNovember 28, 2025November 28, 2025

Another day, another globalist conspiracy thwarted by the genius of President Trump! CNN is clutching its pearls because our favorite…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 23 24 25 … 94 Next

Latest posts

  • Sopranos Star Vincent Pastore Passes Away at 80
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 1 2026
  • TRUTH SOCIAL DISPATCH Donald posts on August 1 2026 from Truth Social
  • Metric and Friends Revive Indie Rock Glory in Brooklyn
  • It Ends – Just Kidding It’s Only the Beginning of Your Never Ending Nightmare and Also There’s a Sequel Coming Probably

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}