Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

DOJ throws the book (and the jail cell) at Kavanaugh wannabe assassin, seeks 30 years of 
bitter regret
Elephant Reads CNN

DOJ throws the book (and the jail cell) at Kavanaugh wannabe assassin, seeks 30 years of bitter regret

Big ElephantSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

Folks, can you believe the depths of depravity these liberals sink to? They tried to off Justice Kavanaugh, a fine,…

Van Jones Shares Charlie Kirk’s Ominous Pre-Death Text: A CNN Political Thriller
Elephant Reads CNN

Van Jones Shares Charlie Kirk’s Ominous Pre-Death Text: A CNN Political Thriller

Big ElephantSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Oh, the drama! CNN, still clinging to relevance in President Trump’s glorious second term, is now peddling tales of Charlie…

Kamala’s Brain Dump: 2028 Rivals Edition- Hold On To Your Hats
Elephant Reads CNN

Kamala’s Brain Dump: 2028 Rivals Edition- Hold On To Your Hats

Big ElephantSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! “Kamala Harris hasn’t made up her mind about whether she’ll run for…

EU Sanctions on Russia: LOL, Here We Go Again
Elephant Reads CNN

EU Sanctions on Russia: LOL, Here We Go Again

Big ElephantSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Oh, the European Union is proposing ANOTHER round of sanctions against Russia? How original! Clearly, the previous 18 packages have…

iPhone Air: Because Your Wallet Needed a Diet, Too
Elephant Reads CNN

iPhone Air: Because Your Wallet Needed a Diet, Too

Big ElephantSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

Of course, CNN is pushing the new iPhone Air! It’s probably made in Communist China with parts stolen from American…

Oh great, MORE Darkness!
Breaking, Movie News

Oh great, MORE Darkness!

FinnSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

Oh great, The Darkness is back 🙄. Yes, that iconic, long-running (and by “long-running” we mean “milked dry”) series is…

OMG! Jimmy Kimmel’s Show Got Canceled? Is This the End of Wokeness? | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Jimmy Kimmel’s Show Got Canceled? Is This the End of Wokeness? | CNN Business

Big ElephantSeptember 18, 2025September 18, 2025

Another Lefty bites the dust! Turns out, even Disney can’t protect their woke puppets when they start praising cop killers.…

Robinson’s Rap Sheet: A Comedy Show in Legal Briefs
Elephant Reads CNN

Robinson’s Rap Sheet: A Comedy Show in Legal Briefs

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Another day, another tragedy fueled by the radical left! This time, some unhinged lunatic allegedly offed Charlie Kirk. Can you…

Octopus Arm Preference: Turns Out They’re Just as Picky as Us Humans
Elephant Reads CNN

Octopus Arm Preference: Turns Out They’re Just as Picky as Us Humans

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Folks, can you believe what the liberal media is pushing now? Octopus arms having preferences? It’s just another attempt to…

OMG! Credit Scores Doing the Titanic Impersonation! Sinking Faster Than My Motivation on Mondays
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Credit Scores Doing the Titanic Impersonation! Sinking Faster Than My Motivation on Mondays

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Another day, another sob story from CNN about how the younger generation is struggling. But let’s be real, folks. This…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 47 48 49 … 95 Next

Latest posts

  • Raconteurs Unveil Broken Boy Soldiers 20th Anniversary Vault Package
  • Democrats Use Epstein Victim’s Family in Slick New Ad Campaign
  • Doechii, Phoebe Bridgers, Fontaines D.C. Top Primavera Sound Anniversary Bill
  • Biden and Trump Unite For World Peace Apparently
  • Supreme Court To Weigh In On Cities Vs Oil Companies

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.