Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

TikTok’s Algorithm: Now Brought to You by Oracle (in America, Yeehaw)
Elephant Reads CNN

TikTok’s Algorithm: Now Brought to You by Oracle (in America, Yeehaw)

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

TikTok to be operated by Oracle! Finally, the deep state’s hold on our youth is weakening! The libs are seething…

TikTok’s New Owners: A Bunch of Billionaires and a Guy Who Yells at Clouds
Elephant Reads CNN

TikTok’s New Owners: A Bunch of Billionaires and a Guy Who Yells at Clouds

Big ElephantSeptember 21, 2025September 21, 2025

Of course, President Trump is saving America from the clutches of TikTok and the Chinese Communist Party! It’s about time…

‘Demon Slayer’ slays box office AGAIN, proving humanity is doomed
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Demon Slayer’ slays box office AGAIN, proving humanity is doomed

Big ElephantSeptember 21, 2025September 21, 2025

Another win for President Trump’s America! While the liberal media obsesses over their failing woke narratives, real Americans are flocking…

Newsom’s Social Media Team Trolls Noem So Hard, CNN Had to Write About It
Elephant Reads CNN

Newsom’s Social Media Team Trolls Noem So Hard, CNN Had to Write About It

Big ElephantSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes are at it again! Apparently, a tweet from California Governor Gavin Newsom’s office saying “Kristi Noem…

Rahm Emanuel Solves the Age-Old Question: Men Just Want a Hug, Apparently
Elephant Reads CNN

Rahm Emanuel Solves the Age-Old Question: Men Just Want a Hug, Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

Rahm Emanuel, the Deep State operative who helped Obama usher in the decline of America, is now pretending to care…

OMG! Dems Triggered by Trump’s Lit Banners, Schiff Throws Hissy Fit!
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Dems Triggered by Trump’s Lit Banners, Schiff Throws Hissy Fit!

Big ElephantSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

The Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re clutching their pearls over President Trump’s “American Workers First” banners.…

Shinedown’s Brent Smith: Radio Saved Our Pathetic Souls
Breaking, Music News

Shinedown’s Brent Smith: Radio Saved Our Pathetic Souls

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

OMG 😱! SHINEDOWN‘s 🎤 frontman, Brent Smith, graced Billboard‘s “Behind The Setlist” podcast with his profound wisdom. He talked about…

DOJ throws the book (and the jail cell) at Kavanaugh wannabe assassin, seeks 30 years of 
bitter regret
Elephant Reads CNN

DOJ throws the book (and the jail cell) at Kavanaugh wannabe assassin, seeks 30 years of bitter regret

Big ElephantSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

Folks, can you believe the depths of depravity these liberals sink to? They tried to off Justice Kavanaugh, a fine,…

Van Jones Shares Charlie Kirk’s Ominous Pre-Death Text: A CNN Political Thriller
Elephant Reads CNN

Van Jones Shares Charlie Kirk’s Ominous Pre-Death Text: A CNN Political Thriller

Big ElephantSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Oh, the drama! CNN, still clinging to relevance in President Trump’s glorious second term, is now peddling tales of Charlie…

Kamala’s Brain Dump: 2028 Rivals Edition- Hold On To Your Hats
Elephant Reads CNN

Kamala’s Brain Dump: 2028 Rivals Edition- Hold On To Your Hats

Big ElephantSeptember 19, 2025September 19, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! “Kamala Harris hasn’t made up her mind about whether she’ll run for…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 46 47 48 … 95 Next

Latest posts

  • Report: More Americans Abandoning Lengthy Conversations In Favor Of One Really Big Word
  • Queens of the Stone Age Drop New Album Perfecth and Single
  • ORANGE OR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Burger King Tries To Make Chicken Nuggets Less Terrible Apparently
  • ORACLE ALERT: President Donald J Trump denies interfering with French speaking Canadians

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.