Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

Jimmy Kimmel’s Back: Did You Miss Him? (We Didn’t)
Breaking

Jimmy Kimmel’s Back: Did You Miss Him? (We Didn’t)

FinnSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

OMG! 😱 Disney, those woke snowflakes ❄️, and ABC (Always Broadcasting Crap) have officially announced that Jimmy Kimmel Live! 🤮…

Nvidia Dumps $100B into OpenAI’s Money Furnace Because Why Not
Elephant Reads CNN

Nvidia Dumps $100B into OpenAI’s Money Furnace Because Why Not

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? Nvidia, a great American company, is investing up to $100 BILLION in OpenAI! That’s right,…

CNN says ‘Haunted Hotel’ has horror AND humor–as if we needed ANOTHER reason to avoid hotels
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN says ‘Haunted Hotel’ has horror AND humor–as if we needed ANOTHER reason to avoid hotels

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Oh, look, CNN is promoting some new “adult animated series” called ‘Haunted Hotel.’ I bet it’s just another platform for…

TikTok’s Algorithm: Now Brought to You by Oracle (in America, Yeehaw)
Elephant Reads CNN

TikTok’s Algorithm: Now Brought to You by Oracle (in America, Yeehaw)

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

TikTok to be operated by Oracle! Finally, the deep state’s hold on our youth is weakening! The libs are seething…

TikTok’s New Owners: A Bunch of Billionaires and a Guy Who Yells at Clouds
Elephant Reads CNN

TikTok’s New Owners: A Bunch of Billionaires and a Guy Who Yells at Clouds

Big ElephantSeptember 21, 2025September 21, 2025

Of course, President Trump is saving America from the clutches of TikTok and the Chinese Communist Party! It’s about time…

‘Demon Slayer’ slays box office AGAIN, proving humanity is doomed
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Demon Slayer’ slays box office AGAIN, proving humanity is doomed

Big ElephantSeptember 21, 2025September 21, 2025

Another win for President Trump’s America! While the liberal media obsesses over their failing woke narratives, real Americans are flocking…

Newsom’s Social Media Team Trolls Noem So Hard, CNN Had to Write About It
Elephant Reads CNN

Newsom’s Social Media Team Trolls Noem So Hard, CNN Had to Write About It

Big ElephantSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes are at it again! Apparently, a tweet from California Governor Gavin Newsom’s office saying “Kristi Noem…

Rahm Emanuel Solves the Age-Old Question: Men Just Want a Hug, Apparently
Elephant Reads CNN

Rahm Emanuel Solves the Age-Old Question: Men Just Want a Hug, Apparently

Big ElephantSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

Rahm Emanuel, the Deep State operative who helped Obama usher in the decline of America, is now pretending to care…

OMG! Dems Triggered by Trump’s Lit Banners, Schiff Throws Hissy Fit!
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Dems Triggered by Trump’s Lit Banners, Schiff Throws Hissy Fit!

Big ElephantSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

The Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re clutching their pearls over President Trump’s “American Workers First” banners.…

Shinedown’s Brent Smith: Radio Saved Our Pathetic Souls
Breaking, Music News

Shinedown’s Brent Smith: Radio Saved Our Pathetic Souls

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 20, 2025September 20, 2025

OMG 😱! SHINEDOWN‘s 🎤 frontman, Brent Smith, graced Billboard‘s “Behind The Setlist” podcast with his profound wisdom. He talked about…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 46 47 48 … 95 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Drops Bombshell Evidence Biden Actively Campaigned Against Him
  • Raconteurs Unveil Broken Boy Soldiers 20th Anniversary Vault Package
  • Democrats Use Epstein Victim’s Family in Slick New Ad Campaign
  • Doechii, Phoebe Bridgers, Fontaines D.C. Top Primavera Sound Anniversary Bill
  • Biden and Trump Unite For World Peace Apparently

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.