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Tag: Woke

Hyatt Exec Quits Faster Than a Cat at a Vacuum Cleaner Convention Over Epstein Drama
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hyatt Exec Quits Faster Than a Cat at a Vacuum Cleaner Convention Over Epstein Drama

Big ElephantFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Another Liberal Billionaire Bites the Dust! Tom Pritzker Retires After Epstein Files Expose His “Deep Regret” In a shocking turn…

Tyler Reddick Wins Daytona 500 While Michael Jordan’s Car Does the Heavy Lifting
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tyler Reddick Wins Daytona 500 While Michael Jordan’s Car Does the Heavy Lifting

Big ElephantFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Wow, another day, another victory for NASCAR and its totally-not-woke, grassroots, America-first vibes. Tyler Reddick, the 30-year-old driver who somehow…

Hostage negotiator weighs in on the ongoing hunt for Nancy Guthrie
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hostage negotiator weighs in on the ongoing hunt for Nancy Guthrie

Big ElephantFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Where in the World is Nancy Guthrie? Probably Plotting with Deep State Operatives! CNN, that bastion of fake news and…

SLASH Says GUNS N’ ROSES ‘Has Never Been A Big Choreographed Thing’ Because Apparently Chaos Is Their Secret Rehearsal Plan
Breaking, Music News

SLASH Says GUNS N’ ROSES ‘Has Never Been A Big Choreographed Thing’ Because Apparently Chaos Is Their Secret Rehearsal Plan

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 15, 2026February 15, 2026

Well, look who decided to grace us with their presence again — it’s Slash, the human embodiment of “I woke…

WWE Finally Breaks Kayfabe: Wrestlers Start Dropping Actual Policy Points in the Ring!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

WWE Finally Breaks Kayfabe: Wrestlers Start Dropping Actual Policy Points in the Ring!

Big ElephantFebruary 14, 2026February 14, 2026

Liberal Woke Wrestling Fans Attack Trump’s ICE While President Takes on the Deep State Big Bad Brody King and Maxwell…

Wendy’s is closing 6% of its stores by mid-2026 — guess those square burgers just didn’t cut it anymore!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wendy’s is closing 6% of its stores by mid-2026 — guess those square burgers just didn’t cut it anymore!

Big ElephantFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Oh no, not Wendy’s! The leftist fast-food empire is crumbling under the weight of its own woke nonsense! In a…

5 things to know for Feb. 12: Canada shooting, Nancy Guthrie, Airspace closure, Funding impasse, Olympic athlete disqualified | CNN
5 Things: Trump Delivers Another Flawless Day While America Remains Safe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 things to know for Feb. 12: Canada shooting, Nancy Guthrie, Airspace closure, Funding impasse, Olympic athlete disqualified | CNN

Big ElephantFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

In a stunning display of leadership, President Trump has once again proven that America is in the best possible hands.…

Man questioned by police in Nancy Guthrie case speaks out… because apparently silence is overrated
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Man questioned by police in Nancy Guthrie case speaks out… because apparently silence is overrated

Big ElephantFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Another Day, Another Fake News Frenzy: CNN’s Latest Nancy Guthrie Circus Oh, look, it’s CNN again, pretending to be serious…

Violent Crime in Major US Cities Plummets, Apparently Everyone’s Just Too Busy Arguing Online
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Violent Crime in Major US Cities Plummets, Apparently Everyone’s Just Too Busy Arguing Online

Big ElephantFebruary 11, 2026February 11, 2026

Crime Plummeting in 2025? Thank Trump’s Tough Policies, Not Leftist ‘Violence Interrupters’! Big-city crime rates are suddenly plummeting, according to…

Brendan Fraser’s Mummy Makeover: Finally, a Mummy Who Knows How to Mummy
OMG, IT'S HAPPENING — AND WE'RE ALL DYING TO SEE IT (OR AT LEAST PRETENDING TO)
Breaking, Movie News

Brendan Fraser’s Mummy Makeover: Finally, a Mummy Who Knows How to Mummy

FinnFebruary 10, 2026February 10, 2026

Holy bandages, Batman! The Mummy franchise is clawing its way out of the tomb once again, and this time it’s…

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Latest posts

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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