Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Woke

Senator Andy Kim demands Trump’s tariff cash be returned — because who doesn’t love a good refund drama?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Senator Andy Kim demands Trump’s tariff cash be returned — because who doesn’t love a good refund drama?

Big ElephantFebruary 22, 2026February 22, 2026

Oh, look who’s crying over spilled tariffs! Democratic Senator Andy Kim wants President Trump to “give back” the $134 billion…

‘I’m tired of getting kicked in the teeth’: How child care costs could make parents in a key US House district scream louder than a toddler at bedtime
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘I’m tired of getting kicked in the teeth’: How child care costs could make parents in a key US House district scream louder than a toddler at bedtime

Big ElephantFebruary 21, 2026February 21, 2026

Pennsylvania Families Crushed by Child Care Costs – Democrats Blame Trump’s Economic Genius Oh, the humanity! Families in Pennsylvania’s 7th…

Apple’s iCloud: The Secret Playground for Inappropriate Content, Says West Virginia AG | CNN Business
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Apple’s iCloud: The Secret Playground for Inappropriate Content, Says West Virginia AG | CNN Business

Big ElephantFebruary 19, 2026February 19, 2026

Big Tech Giant Apple Sued for Protecting Predators Over Kids—Where’s the Outrage? In yet another shocking example of woke corporate…

U.S. Soccer Star Weston McKennie Bravely Prepares to Dominate World Cup on Home Turf—Because Who Needs International Competition Anyway?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

U.S. Soccer Star Weston McKennie Bravely Prepares to Dominate World Cup on Home Turf—Because Who Needs International Competition Anyway?

Big ElephantFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

Well, Well, Well—Look Who’s Dribbling Their Way to Another Global Stage! Looks like U.S. soccer “star” Weston McKennie is gearing…

Microsoft throws $50 billion at AI inequality while secretly hoping robots will pay taxes and buy yachts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Microsoft throws $50 billion at AI inequality while secretly hoping robots will pay taxes and buy yachts

Big ElephantFebruary 18, 2026February 18, 2026

Microsoft Announces $50 Billion Global AI Giveaway — or Just Another Liberal Guilt Trip? In a move that’s either shockingly…

Mckenna Grace to Outshine Every Other Daphne in the Scooby-Doo Universe — Sorry, Not Sorry
Breaking, Movie News

Mckenna Grace to Outshine Every Other Daphne in the Scooby-Doo Universe — Sorry, Not Sorry

FinnFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

After years of animated Scooby-Doo shows where the biggest mystery was whether Shaggy was high or just perpetually confused, Netflix…

El Niño, Death Traps, and Dr. AI: The Wild Ride of Today’s News You Can’t Unsee
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

El Niño, Death Traps, and Dr. AI: The Wild Ride of Today’s News You Can’t Unsee

Big ElephantFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

Welcome to 5 Things PM! Here’s your nightly dose of real news, served with a side of conservative truth and…

Mikaël Kingsbury Finally Grabs Gold for Canada, Because Apparently They Needed Someone to Break the Ice First
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Mikaël Kingsbury Finally Grabs Gold for Canada, Because Apparently They Needed Someone to Break the Ice First

Big ElephantFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

Breaking News: Liberal Snowflakes Can’t Handle Mikaël Kingsbury’s Patriotic Gold Medal In yet another stunning display of American exceptionalism (well,…

Hyatt Exec Quits Faster Than a Cat at a Vacuum Cleaner Convention Over Epstein Drama
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hyatt Exec Quits Faster Than a Cat at a Vacuum Cleaner Convention Over Epstein Drama

Big ElephantFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Another Liberal Billionaire Bites the Dust! Tom Pritzker Retires After Epstein Files Expose His “Deep Regret” In a shocking turn…

Tyler Reddick Wins Daytona 500 While Michael Jordan’s Car Does the Heavy Lifting
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Tyler Reddick Wins Daytona 500 While Michael Jordan’s Car Does the Heavy Lifting

Big ElephantFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Wow, another day, another victory for NASCAR and its totally-not-woke, grassroots, America-first vibes. Tyler Reddick, the 30-year-old driver who somehow…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 6 7 8 … 95 Next

Latest posts

  • Catholic Church Throws $800 Million At Problem It Hadn’t Fixed
  • Spin of the Day: The article discusses the potential negative impact of Vivek Ramaswamy on the GOP. — 88% Journalism Not Found
  • Waylon Reavis: “There Are Many Killers Who Need to Confess” — A Killer’s Confession Frontman Opens Up About Real-Life Monsters, Death, and Forgotten Victims
  • Waylon Reavis: We Remember the Killers, Not the Victims
  • Waylon Reavis (A Killer’s Confession) unfiltered: serial killers, death penalty & cancel culture

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.