Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Zombie

OMG! Bone Temple Trailer: Dr. Kelson vs Jimmy Crystal – 28 Years of Awkwardness
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! Bone Temple Trailer: Dr. Kelson vs Jimmy Crystal – 28 Years of Awkwardness

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sony Pictures just dropped the *second* trailer for 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple, and let’s be real,…

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple’s New Poster – Guaranteed to Bore You Less Than the Movie Itself
Breaking, Movie News

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple’s New Poster – Guaranteed to Bore You Less Than the Movie Itself

FinnNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Oh, joy! Another sequel no one asked for! Expanding upon the cinematic ✨masterpiece✨ that Danny Boyle and Alex Garland graced…

Ohio School’s Gratitude So Contagious, It’s Basically a Zombie Apocalypse of Thankfulness
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Ohio School’s Gratitude So Contagious, It’s Basically a Zombie Apocalypse of Thankfulness

Big ElephantNovember 25, 2025November 25, 2025

Another day, another pathetic attempt by the liberal media to brainwash our kids! This “Positivity Pod” nonsense in Ohio is…

‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘Wicked: For Good’? More Like ‘Wicked: For Our Wallets’ Rakes in $150 Million, Proving Green Skin Sells

Big ElephantNovember 23, 2025November 23, 2025

Hollywood elites are at it again, folks! “Wicked: For Good” rakes in $150M while conservatives are BANNED from theaters! Is…

“We Bury The Dead” Poster: Starring People You’ve Heard Of, Because Zombies Aren’t Enough
Breaking, Movie News

“We Bury The Dead” Poster: Starring People You’ve Heard Of, Because Zombies Aren’t Enough

FinnNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Oh, SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS! 🧟‍♂️ Another zombie flick? Because the world CLEARLY needed more of those! 🙄 Prepare yourselves for…

Resident Evil: Requiem – Prepare to be Mildly Whemed, Says Totally Unbiased Producer
Breaking, Games News

Resident Evil: Requiem – Prepare to be Mildly Whemed, Says Totally Unbiased Producer

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

OMG, Resident Evil: Requiem?! More like Resident Evil: Re-*sigh*-em. Capcom, you tease! We’re still scratching our heads about this game,…

Rob Zombie Unleashes ‘Heathen Days’ – Prepare for Utter Chaos (and Maybe a Headache) from ‘The Great Satan’ Album
Breaking, Music News

Rob Zombie Unleashes ‘Heathen Days’ – Prepare for Utter Chaos (and Maybe a Headache) from ‘The Great Satan’ Album

Chord F. DiscordNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

OMG! 😱 Rob Zombie, the dude who still thinks it’s 1998, is dropping “Heathen Days”, the *second* single (because one…

“We Bury The Dead” – Prepare to Yawn as Daisy Ridley and Brenton Thwaites Battle Zombies (Again!) in This Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

“We Bury The Dead” – Prepare to Yawn as Daisy Ridley and Brenton Thwaites Battle Zombies (Again!) in This Trailer

FinnNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Oh, JOY! Another zombie flick! 🙄 Because we *totally* haven’t seen enough of those already. Apparently, some catastrophic military oopsie-daisy…

Re-Animator Gets the 4K Treatment Because Apparently One Corpse Party Wasn’t Enough
Breaking, Movie News

Re-Animator Gets the 4K Treatment Because Apparently One Corpse Party Wasn’t Enough

FinnNovember 14, 2025November 14, 2025

Oh, sweet zombie Jesus, ANOTHER Re-Animator release? 🙄 Didn’t we all suffer enough back in the ’80s? But noooo, Second…

UPS Plane Does a Funny Dive Near Louisville Airport, According to Some Guy | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

UPS Plane Does a Funny Dive Near Louisville Airport, According to Some Guy | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

Another day, another disaster, folks! This time, a UPS plane conveniently crashes near Louisville. Coincidence? I think NOT! Probably carrying…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 7 8 9 … 15 Next

Latest posts

  • Washington Residents Get Free Barbecue Courtesy of Wildfire Season
  • Investors eager to throw money at Venezuela’s powder keg economy
  • Laniidae in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)
  • GODSMACK Appears To 700,000 People At Poland’s POL’AND’ROCK FESTIVAL
  • Enemies & Allies in Charlotte, NC (08/01/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}