In an epic display of 21st-century management genius, Ubisoft has cracked the code on how to «promote creativity and teamwork» — by chaining employees to their office desks for a mandatory three-day week. Because nothing says «creative freedom» like being forced to sit under fluorescent lights, surrounded by bad coffee and corporate posters. Ubisoft, bless their hearts, believes this policy is just what their game developers need to make magic happen — after all, nothing inspires a groundbreaking video game like that sacred water cooler chat about last night’s Netflix binge 📺.
Of course, when Ubisoft’s brilliant policy was met with a slight pushback — namely, 700 employees walking out in protest — the company didn’t flinch. Instead, they flexed their PR muscles, reminding everyone that “team bonding” requires proximity, apparently because video calls and Slack memes just aren’t the same 😤. The STJV union, clearly missing the point, seems to think that workers have a right to balance their lives, avoid long commutes, and work where they’re most comfortable. But we all know that true creativity happens between the hours of 9 AM and 6 PM, Monday to Friday, with a strict 60-minute lunch break 🕒.
And just when you thought Ubisoft couldn’t up their pettiness game, they raised the bar by assigning all the striking employees to a very special project: creating «diverse» characters for future Assassin’s Creed Shadows DLC. The twist? These characters will be exclusively Black… in a game set in feudal Japan 🇯🇵. Bravo, Ubisoft! Who needs historical accuracy when you can dunk on your own workers while making a statement about diversity at the same time? A masterclass in corporate trolling, if we’ve ever seen one.
