WASHINGTON—Praising the tireless efforts of the hundreds of agents who worked around the clock on the case, FBI director Kash Patel announced Friday that after almost two anguishing weeks, Savannah Guthrie had at last been located. “This morning before dawn, a hostage rescue team stormed a New York City townhouse and freed Savannah, who miraculously did not appear to be injured or even malnourished in any way,” said Patel, adding that cooperation from state and local law enforcement had been instrumental in leaving no stone unturned in the search for the missing Today show anchor. “Analysis of thousands of hours of recent footage positioned her repeatedly at NBC Studios at Rockefeller Center in Manhattan, and we were able to further pinpoint her whereabouts with the help of many, many ordinary Americans who called our tip line to report seeing her enter and exit the building where she was eventually found. I wish we had rescued her sooner, of course, but at least we can all celebrate this happy ending today.” Patel added that he had not yet spoken with Guthrie but assumed she was recovering from her ordeal with her husband, Michael, her two children, and her mother, Nancy.
The post FBI Announces They Have Located Savannah Guthrie appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Praising the tireless efforts of the hundreds of agents who worked around the clock on the case, FBI director Kash Patel announced Friday that after almost two anguishing weeks, Savannah Guthrie had at last been located. “This morning before dawn, a hostage rescue team stormed a New York City townhouse and freed Savannah, who miraculously did
The post FBI Announces They Have Located Savannah Guthrie appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
