WASHINGTON—Having been provided with a powerful reminder that legs were not merely for standing around on, millions of Americans confirmed Friday that the World Cup had reinvigorated their interest in kicking things. “Seeing all these guys kicking balls on TV has really opened my eyes to how satisfying it is to swing your legs around and hit things with your feet and knees,” said Omaha, NE, resident Darren Montrose, one of the many thousands of Americans across the nation who have reported feeling inspired by all the kicking at the World Cup and looked down at their own legs and wondered what nearby objects they might be able to strike with the pair of limbs. “Just this morning, I kicked my car, I kicked an old can. I tried to kick a bug, but I missed. Then my two sons and I spent the whole afternoon just kicking things in the yard together. I know I’m never going to kick as well as the players in the World Cup—I mean, those guys practice kicking literally every day—but they reminded me that it’s important to kick what you can with the legs you’ve got.” At press time, Montrose had reportedly joined a group of friendly strangers who had spontaneously come together to kick a parking meter.
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Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
