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Day: July 9, 2026

David Draiman Finally Finds Courage To Ruin Another Classic Song
Breaking, Music News

David Draiman Finally Finds Courage To Ruin Another Classic Song

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious feels? Because I just listened to the latest episode of the…

Most Modern in Charlotte, NC (07/09/2026)
Videos

Most Modern in Charlotte, NC (07/09/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 9, 2026

Darkwave and synth-pop from Austin, Texas Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

In A Darkened Room in Charlotte, NC (07/09/2026)
Videos

In A Darkened Room in Charlotte, NC (07/09/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 9, 2026

80's inspired Goth Rock/post-punk from Texas Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…

MSG Kept List Of Celebrity Guests Including Sexual Orientation Details
Live, Music News

MSG Kept List Of Celebrity Guests Including Sexual Orientation Details

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2026

Madison Square Garden kept a running list of rappers, musicians, actors, and other celebrities, labeling them as risks and also…

Trump Blocked from Reclaiming Kennedy Center Naming Rights
Live, Music News

Trump Blocked from Reclaiming Kennedy Center Naming Rights

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2026

A federal court has shot down President Donald Trump’s argument that the Kennedy Center will lose money if his name…

Trump Takes Ax To Election Assistance Commission Leadership Suddenly
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Takes Ax To Election Assistance Commission Leadership Suddenly

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here with my morning coffee, reading about the White House firing the leadership of the Election Assistance…

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social on given date and number
The Orange Oracle

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social on given date and number

Milton TruthwellJuly 9, 2026

The ORANGE ORACLE has spoken, and the people of Palm Beach, Florida, have responded in kind. In a shocking turn…

Israel saves Trump from Iranian hitmen because of course they did
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Israel saves Trump from Iranian hitmen because of course they did

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this one. Apparently, Israel shared some intel with…

GOP Nominates Humanitarian With ‘High-Risk’ Label, Because That’s Going Well
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Nominates Humanitarian With ‘High-Risk’ Label, Because That’s Going Well

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

I was sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from Colorado, where Marine veteran Victor Marx has won…

Planned Parenthood Regains Federal Funding
The Onion

Planned Parenthood Regains Federal Funding

FinnJuly 9, 2026

       Planned Parenthood regained access to federal funding for non-abortion care after a ban in the One Big Beautiful Bill…

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Latest posts

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  • Olivia Rodrigo Joins Smashing Pumpials at Lollapalooza
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Federal Appeals Court Rejects Bid to Block Donald Trump’s Mail Voting Restrictions
  • Kamala Harris Proposes Supreme Court Expansion Because 9 Justices Not Enough

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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