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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Blackie Lawless, bless his heart, thinks cancel culture is scarier than teased hair and Reaganomics, and also, Orange Man Good, apparently 🤷‍♀️🍊
Breaking

Blackie Lawless, bless his heart, thinks cancel culture is scarier than teased hair and Reaganomics, and also, Orange Man Good, apparently 🤷‍♀️🍊

Chord F. DiscordApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

Blackie Lawless, the lyrical genius behind such profound works as “Animal (F**k Like a Beast)” (a song so subtly nuanced…

Gene Simmons Blames Insurance for Highway Robbery Roadie Experience, Proving Rock ‘n’ Roll is Officially Dead 💀 and Replaced by Greed 💰
Breaking

Gene Simmons Blames Insurance for Highway Robbery Roadie Experience, Proving Rock ‘n’ Roll is Officially Dead 💀 and Replaced by Greed 💰

Chord F. DiscordApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

🎸💰 Oh, the audacity! Gene Simmons, the Demon of… charging exorbitant prices, is back at it again! Apparently, being a…

Pet Shop Boys Butcher Tina Turner’s “Hot For You Baby” into a Synth-Pop Sausage 🌭🎶👵
Breaking

Pet Shop Boys Butcher Tina Turner’s “Hot For You Baby” into a Synth-Pop Sausage 🌭🎶👵

Chord F. DiscordApril 28, 2025April 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 Pet Shop Boys, those synth-pop grandpas 👴👵, have allegedly “remixed” a “lost” Tina Turner track, *Hot For You…

Witness the Metalpocalypse: Exodus and Death Angel’s Singer Butcher a Scorpions Tune in Anaheim 🤘😂🎸🎤🔥
Breaking

Witness the Metalpocalypse: Exodus and Death Angel’s Singer Butcher a Scorpions Tune in Anaheim 🤘😂🎸🎤🔥

Chord F. DiscordApril 28, 2025April 28, 2025

🤣OMG! Did anyone actually SEE this?! DEATH ANGEL’s resident screamer, Mark Osegueda, apparently thought it was a good idea to…

Gary Kemp Talks About “This Destination” (Yeah, We Know You’re Googling It 🙄)
Breaking

Gary Kemp Talks About “This Destination” (Yeah, We Know You’re Googling It 🙄)

Chord F. DiscordApril 28, 2025April 28, 2025

So, Gary Kemp, bless his cotton socks, has a new album out. 🙄 Apparently, it’s called *This Destination*. Because, you…

Oh, great, so the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is scraping the bottom of the barrel again, inducting Bad Company and Soundgarden 🙄🎸🥁👴
Breaking

Oh, great, so the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is scraping the bottom of the barrel again, inducting Bad Company and Soundgarden 🙄🎸🥁👴

Chord F. DiscordApril 28, 2025April 28, 2025

🚨 EMERGENCY! 🚨 The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, bless its cotton socks, has announced its 2025 inductees. Hold…

Hammett and Trujillo Cover Rush🎸: Somewhere, Neil Peart Just Did a Perfect Drum Fill in the Afterlife👴
Breaking

Hammett and Trujillo Cover Rush🎸: Somewhere, Neil Peart Just Did a Perfect Drum Fill in the Afterlife👴

Chord F. DiscordApril 27, 2025April 27, 2025

OMG! 🙄 You guys are NOT gonna BELIEVE what those two dudes from METALLICA, Robert “I Used to be in…

Joey Jordison’s family wants YOUR money 💰 to unleash some VIMIC tunes nobody asked for 🤷‍♀️, so dig deep, metalheads! 🤘
Breaking

Joey Jordison’s family wants YOUR money 💰 to unleash some VIMIC tunes nobody asked for 🤷‍♀️, so dig deep, metalheads! 🤘

Chord F. DiscordApril 27, 2025April 27, 2025

Okay, so, like, remember Joey Jordison? The dude who got the boot from Slipknot because…reasons? 🤔 Well, his family, bless…

Shinedown promises more ear-splitting “music” before the year mercifully ends 🙄🎸🔥
Breaking

Shinedown promises more ear-splitting “music” before the year mercifully ends 🙄🎸🔥

Chord F. DiscordApril 27, 2025April 27, 2025

OH. MY. GAWD. 😱 Shinedown, those purveyors of fine adult contemporary rock (with *just* enough edge to make your mom…

Kerry King🎸: “Tom Araya? Never heard of her 🤷‍♂️.”
Breaking

Kerry King🎸: “Tom Araya? Never heard of her 🤷‍♂️.”

Chord F. DiscordApril 26, 2025April 27, 2025

OMG! 😱 Kerry King spills the tea ☕ (or should we say tequila 🍹) on why Slayer’s still kicking (or…

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