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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
The Cult Announces Tour Dates for North America in October 2025, So Book Your Geriatric Rock Show Tickets Now
Live, Music News

The Cult Announces Tour Dates for North America in October 2025, So Book Your Geriatric Rock Show Tickets Now

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, sweet baby Satan, THE CULT, those purveyors of slightly-above-average rock anthems for the tragically unhip, are back! 🎉 They’re…

Aaron Stainthorpe’s Epic Emo Exit From My Dying Bride: Guitarist Throws Shade
Breaking, Music News

Aaron Stainthorpe’s Epic Emo Exit From My Dying Bride: Guitarist Throws Shade

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Metalirium (because who ELSE would care? 😂), MY DYING BRIDE guitarist Andrew Craighan spilled the…

KISS Milks ‘Alive!’ For 50th Time: Prepare For More Unnecessary Reissues
Breaking, Music News

KISS Milks ‘Alive!’ For 50th Time: Prepare For More Unnecessary Reissues

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

🤪OMG!🚨 Get ready to open your wallets, KISS Army (and your gullible parents)!🤑 Apparently, some old dude named Eddie Kramer…

Amon Amarth to Drop New Ditty ‘We Rule the Waves’ on Hump Day, Prepare to Be Mildly Titillated
Breaking, Music News

Amon Amarth to Drop New Ditty ‘We Rule the Waves’ on Hump Day, Prepare to Be Mildly Titillated

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

So, the Vikings who can’t seem to find a new gimmick AMON AMARTH are gracing us with a single and…

My Chemical Romance’s Emo Masterpiece ‘The Black Parade’ Gets Umpteen Shiny New Participation Trophies
Breaking, Music News

My Chemical Romance’s Emo Masterpiece ‘The Black Parade’ Gets Umpteen Shiny New Participation Trophies

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Oh, honey, bless their hearts. Following the earth-shattering, life-altering, and definitely not overhyped launch of their “‘Long Live’: The Black…

Ex-Slipknot Drummer Jay Weinberg’s Solo Album: Prepare for the Most Mediocre Undertaking You’ll Ever Be Mildly Interested In
Breaking, Music News

Ex-Slipknot Drummer Jay Weinberg’s Solo Album: Prepare for the Most Mediocre Undertaking You’ll Ever Be Mildly Interested In

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

Wow, look at this “exclusive” interview 🙄 with the guy who got the boot from SLIPKNOT, now slumming it in…

The Charlatans, bless their cotton socks, are back with *another* album and a UK tour (as if we needed more Charlatans)
Breaking, Music News

The Charlatans, bless their cotton socks, are back with *another* album and a UK tour (as if we needed more Charlatans)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 14, 2025July 14, 2025

“We’re honouring ourselves, our past, feeling that energy and reincarnating it, doing something fresh, brand new” – Tim Burgess (allegedly)…

Soulfly Drops New Track ‘Favela Dystopia’ – Prepare for Maximum Groove and Minimal Originality
Breaking, Music News

Soulfly Drops New Track ‘Favela Dystopia’ – Prepare for Maximum Groove and Minimal Originality

Chord F. DiscordJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

Okay, buckle up, buttercups! SOULFLY, the band that still exists, apparently, graced the stage with a brand-new banger called “Favela…

NICKO MCBRAIN’s TITANIUM TART: Floridaocalypse 2025
Live, Music News

NICKO MCBRAIN’s TITANIUM TART: Floridaocalypse 2025

Chord F. DiscordJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

So, the geriatric drum overlord, Nicko McBrain, bless his cotton socks, thinks he’s still got it! 🤣 After announcing his…

Josh Todd From Buckcherry Remembers When He Met Floyd Mayweather, World’s Okayest Boxer
Breaking, Music News

Josh Todd From Buckcherry Remembers When He Met Floyd Mayweather, World’s Okayest Boxer

Chord F. DiscordJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

OMG 😱! Josh Todd from those *super* relevant rockers BUCKCHERRY (who?) graced us with his presence on Side Jams With…

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