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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Amon Amarth’s New Song: More Like ‘We Drool, Then Puke, On The Waves’
Breaking, Music News

Amon Amarth’s New Song: More Like ‘We Drool, Then Puke, On The Waves’

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

So, these Swedish fellas, AMON AMARTH, bless their little Viking hearts, decided to grace us with their presence at Pine…

CATTLE DECAPITATION to Subject Innocent Ears to ‘Death Atlas’ in 2025 Across the Continent
Live, Music News

CATTLE DECAPITATION to Subject Innocent Ears to ‘Death Atlas’ in 2025 Across the Continent

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

Ah, yes, the enlightened eco-warriors of West Coast deathgrind, CATTLE DECAPITATION, have deigned to bless the unwashed masses of North…

Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs
Breaking, Music News

Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 In a recent interview with Kevin Ryder and Megan Holiday from the *super* influential KROQ radio station (never…

Clawfinger Announces New Album, ‘Before We All Drool Into Our Geriatric Rocking Chairs’
Breaking, Music News

Clawfinger Announces New Album, ‘Before We All Drool Into Our Geriatric Rocking Chairs’

Chord F. DiscordJuly 18, 2025July 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 The geriatric rap-metal dinosaurs CLAWFINGER are BACK with “Before We All Die”, dropping February 20, 2026, on Perception,…

GHOST to haunt Jimmy Fallon’s show next week, hope he has a priest on standby
Live, Music News

GHOST to haunt Jimmy Fallon’s show next week, hope he has a priest on standby

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

OMG! 😱😱😱GHOST, you know, that Swedish “rock” band (and I use that term loosely), will grace us with their presence…

Nine Inch Nails’ New “Tron” Soundtrack: Get Ready for Some Seriously Overproduced Synth Noises
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

Nine Inch Nails’ New “Tron” Soundtrack: Get Ready for Some Seriously Overproduced Synth Noises

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

“Tron: Ares (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack),” featuring all original music by NINE INCH NAILS (because who else would Disney hire?…

BIOHAZARD Drops ‘Divided We Fall’ Album and a Totally Unexpected ‘F*** The System’ Anthem
Breaking, Music News

BIOHAZARD Drops ‘Divided We Fall’ Album and a Totally Unexpected ‘F*** The System’ Anthem

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

OMG! 😱 The geriatric delinquents of BIOHAZARD are back with “Divided We Fall”, their first “studio album” (air quotes because…

Phil Fasciana’s Lungs Declare War on Malevolent Creation (Pneumonia Strikes Back)!
Breaking, Music News

Phil Fasciana’s Lungs Declare War on Malevolent Creation (Pneumonia Strikes Back)!

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

OMG! 😱 Guitarist 🎸 Phil Fasciana of those geriatric Florida 🐊 death metallers 💀 MALEVOLENT CREATION (still around? 😂) has…

Judas Priest Still Kicking (Literally) at 2025 Hellfest: Proof That Metal Gods Don’t Know When to Quit
Breaking, Music News

Judas Priest Still Kicking (Literally) at 2025 Hellfest: Proof That Metal Gods Don’t Know When to Quit

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

OMG! 😱 ARTE Concert, bless their cotton socks, has dropped the entire JUDAS PRIEST performance from Hellfest 2025. So, if…

L7 Throws Geriatric Punk Party with LUNACHICKS: Prepare for Maximum Mosh Pit Aches
Live, Music News

L7 Throws Geriatric Punk Party with LUNACHICKS: Prepare for Maximum Mosh Pit Aches

Chord F. DiscordJuly 17, 2025July 17, 2025

OMG, L7 is STILL a thing? 🤣 Apparently, these geriatric rockers are throwing themselves a “40th Anniversary Bash” because, let’s…

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