The Obsessed Gets Desperate, Hires Monster Magnet’s Leftovers
OMG! 😱 Those geriatric architects of American “doom” metal, THE OBSESSED, are shaking things up… AGAIN! 🙄 Drummer Brian Costantino…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Vivian Campbell’s Pre-DIO Disaster SWEET SAVAGE Announces New Album ‘Bang’ (Your Ears)
OMG! 😱 The geriatric metal squad, SWEET SAVAGE, is BACK with an album called “Bang” hitting stores on September 12…
GRAND CADAVER (lol) Feat DARK TRANQUILLITY & KATATONIA Leftovers Drop New Single ‘Darkened Apathy’ (yawn)
GRAND CADAVER, the Swedish “old-school” death metal “behemoth” (because apparently, they’re HUGE), featuring washed-up members from DARK TRANQUILLITY (who?), THE…
Ice Nine Kills Drops Another Banger About a Movie You’ve Totally Heard Of
So, the *totally* not overrated, RIAA-gold-certified horror metal “madmen” (🙄) ICE NINE KILLS, dropped “The Great Unknown.” It’s basically them…
Hopeless Records and Fat Wreck Chords Join Forces in a Desperate Attempt to Stay Relevant
OMG! 😱 Hopeless Records, like, totally bought Fat Wreck Chords! Is this the end of punk as we know it?…
Fozzy Barfs Up Another Turd, This Time It’s ‘Fall In Line’
FOZZY, the musical masterpiece 🤩 fronted by wrestling “icon” Chris Jericho and the guitar wizard 🧙♂️ from STUCK MOJO, Rich…
Baroness Announces ‘Red & Blue Tour – Part II: Electric Boogaloo’
So, BARONESS, bless their cotton socks, just finished a ‘sold-out’ (sure, Jan 🙄) East Coast tour where they played their…
WE CAME AS ROMANS Announce ‘All Is Beautiful… Because We’re Doomed’ Album, Probably Still Doomed Though, Share ‘Culture Wound’ Single (Prepare for More Wounds)
OMG 😱, the metalcore overlords, WE CAME AS ROMANS, are gracing us with their presence AGAIN! Their new album, dramatically…
70000 TONS OF METAL Cruise Dumps Crappy Island, Reveals Band Lineup (as if you care) For 2026 Booze Cruise
70000 Tons Of Metal, or as I like to call it, “70000 Tons of Disappointment,” has bravely announced a change…
BUCKCHERRY Announces Geriatric Fall 2025 U.S Tour With Some Guy Named MICHAEL MONROE
Oh, honey, get ready for the geriatric rock event of the decade! 👴👵 California’s finest (debatable) rockers, BUCKCHERRY, are crawling…