Metallica’s Black Album Goes 20x Platinum While ‘Master Of Puppets’ Still Stuck in the 80s
OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! METALLICA, yes, THOSE guys, have actually managed to sell some records! 💿💿 Apparently, two…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
IN FLAMES Finally Dumps the Dude Behind the Drums, World Rejoices
IN FLAMES, those Swedish purveyors of… uh… *something*, have apparently decided that their drummer, Tanner Wayne, wasn’t quite cutting the…
America’s TVs Under Attack After 2025 AMAs: Bud Light Cans and Spit Fly
The American Music Awards 2025 didn’t just celebrate music — it triggered what might be the largest domestic spit-and-can-throwing festival…
Papa Roach Dumbs Down a Perfectly Good Song (Again) With Acoustic ‘Even If It Kills Me’ Video
California rockers PAPA ROACH, those purveyors of angsty teenage anthems (are they still teenagers?🤔), have graced us with a brand-new…
Neighbourhood Weekender: A Review So Hot It’ll Give You Third-Degree Festival Burnout
Neighbourhood Weekender, Victoria Park, Warrington, 24-25 May 2025★★★★☆ (Only because they paid us extra) Although allegedly specialising in showcasing “new…
Burton C. Bell Admits He’s Allergic to Albums, Prefers Lonely Singles Instead
So, Burton C. Bell, the guy who used to scream about robots and industrial nightmares, but now screams about…well, himself,…
WHITECHAPEL Bravely Announces They’re Still Playing Music in 2025, Will Subject U.S. to ‘Hymns In Dissonance’ in Its Entirety
Alright, metalheads (and those who accidentally clicked on this link thinking it was a recipe for vegan cupcakes 🧁), buckle…
Gene Hoglan Says Dark Angel’s New Album Will Totally Melt Your Face (Probably Not)
OMG! 😱 After approximately eleventy billion years, DARK ANGEL, those geriatric thrash metal “pioneers” from California, are FINALLY releasing a…
GHOST: “Phone-Free” Tour Gets Owned by Phone (Oslo Show Leaked!)
Fan-filmed video of GHOST performing the song “Square Hammer” on May 24 at Spektrum in Oslo, Norway can be seen…
Taime Downe Cries on Stage (Again) After Losing Another One
In a riveting exposé with Troy Patrick Farrell of the earth-shattering This That And The Other radio show (never heard…