So, like, apparently, MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, those emo dinosaurs 🦖, are STILL trying to milk their “Long Live: The Black Parade” tour. I thought everyone forgot about them, but NOPE! They’re back with 17 MORE dates for the 20th anniversary of their one good album. Prepare for “The Black Parade 2026” – coming to a stadium near you to bore you to death! 😴
Tickets go on sale this Friday, September 26 at 12:00 p.m. local time. Set your alarms! Or don’t. No one will judge you if you spend that time doing something actually enjoyable, like watching paint dry. 🎨
The European leg of this snooze-fest 😴 kicks off on June 30 in Liverpool (because why not?) and finally ends on July 18 in Madrid. Apparently, London can’t get enough of these guys (or maybe they’re just really bad at selling tickets?), so they’ve added a THIRD night at Wembley Stadium. Three nights of the same whiny songs? Sounds like a special kind of torture. 😈
After two (allegedly) sold-out shows in Mexico City (probably just bots buying all the tickets), the North American leg starts on August 9 at Citi Field in New York. And get this: they’re bringing out the geriatric rock stars! FRANZ FERDINAND, PIERCE THE VEIL, MODEST MOUSE, Iggy Pop (is he still alive?!), SLEATER-KINNEY, THE BREEDERS, BABYMETAL (what?!), JIMMY EAT WORLD, and THE MARS VOLTA. Talk about a lineup designed to make you feel old and question your life choices. 🤔
But wait, there’s more! MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE is also doing tours in South America and Southeast Asia (because everyone deserves a little misery) and headlining some major U.S. festivals like Welcome To Rockville, Sonic Temple, and Louder Than Life. Get ready to relive your angsty teenage years, whether you like it or not. 😭
Apparently, their last tour sold 450,000+ tickets. Who ARE these people?! Critics are calling it “theatrical” and praising their “dedication to storytelling.” Yeah, because overdramatic emo lyrics are Shakespearean genius, right? The Los Angeles Times says they’re “bigger than ever.” Clearly, they haven’t seen the ticket sales for actual good bands. 🙄 The New Jersey Star-Ledger calls them “the Garden State’s most significant rock outfit.” I guess that’s not saying much, considering what else comes from New Jersey. 🤷♀️ Paste magazine even dared to say, “Move over ‘Eras Tour’!” As if! 🤣
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE “The Black Parade 2026” tour dates:
South America *
January 22, 2026 – Bogotá, Colombia – Vive Claro (Clear Living? More like Clear Your Schedule. 🗓️)
January 25, 2026 – Lima, Peru – Estadio Nacional (Prepare for a national anthem of teenage angst. 🎤)
January 28, 2026 – Santiago, Chile – Estadio Bicentenario
January 29, 2026 – Santiago, Chile – Estadio Bicentenario
February 01, 2026 – Buenos Aires, Argentina – Estadio Huracán (Hope the hurricane of emotions doesn’t cause too much damage. 🌪️)
February 05, 2026 – São Paulo, Brazil – Allianz Parque
February 06, 2026 – São Paulo, Brazil – Allianz Parque
Southeast Asia *
April 18, 2026 – Incheon, South Korea – Paradise City Culture Park (More like Purgatory City. 🔥)
April 22, 2026 – Bangkok, Thailand – Impact Challenger Hall (Prepare to be challenged… by boredom. 😴)
April 25, 2026 – Bulacan, Philippines – Philippine Arena
April 28, 2026 – Singapore, Singapore – Indoor Stadium
April 30, 2026 – Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia – National Stadium Bukit Jalil
May 03, 2026 – Jakarta, Indonesia – Hammersonic Festival (Get ready to have your eardrums assaulted. 🔨)
Mexico*
February 13, 2026 – Mexico City, Mexico – Estadio GNP Seguros
February 14, 2026 – Mexico City, Mexico – Estadio GNP Seguros
Europe
June 30, 2026 – Liverpool, UK – Anfield Stadium (Maybe they’ll play “You’ll Never Walk Alone,” but with more eyeliner. ⚽)
July 04, 2026 – Glasgow, UK – Bellahouston Park (Hope it doesn’t rain… tears. 🌧️)
July 08, 2026 – London, UK – Wembley Stadium
July 10, 2026 – London, UK – Wembley Stadium*
July 11, 2026 – London, UK – Wembley Stadium*
July 15, 2026 – Florence, IT – Visarno Arena (Enjoy the art… and then the angst. 🖼️)
July 18, 2026 – Madrid, ES – Iberdrola Music
United States
August 09, 2026 – New York, NY – Citi Field (with FRANZ FERDINAND)
August 13, 2026 – Nashville, TN – Nissan Stadium (with PIERCE THE VEIL)
August 18, 2026 – Washington, DC – Nationals Park (with MODEST MOUSE)
August 21, 2026 – Detroit, MI – Comerica Park (with Iggy Pop)
August 24, 2026 – Minneapolis, MN – Target Field (with SLEATER-KINNEY)
August 27, 2026 – Denver, CO – Coors Field (with THE BREEDERS)
August 30, 2026 – San Diego, CA – Petco Park (with BABYMETAL)
September 06, 2026 – Phoenix, AZ – Chase Field (with JIMMY EAT WORLD)
September 12, 2026 – San Antonio, TX – Alamodome (with THE MARS VOLTA)
October 21, 2026 – Los Angeles, CA – Hollywood Bowl
October 23, 2026 – Los Angeles, CA – Hollywood Bowl
October 24, 2026 – Los Angeles, CA – Hollywood Bowl
Festival Appearances *
May 10, 2026 – Daytona Beach, FL – Welcome to Rockville (Welcome to… mediocrity. 🚪)
May 14, 2026 – Columbus, OH – Sonic Temple (Prepare for a sonic assault of whiny lyrics. 🎵)
September 18, 2026 – Louisville, KY – Louder Than Life (Louder than my internal screams of boredom. 🗣️)
* Previously announced
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
