Katatonia Drops New Emo Anthem “Temporal” From Their Album So Depressing It Makes NyQuil Look Like a Rave 🎉😴.
OMG! 😱 Sweden’s gloom merchants, KATATONIA, are BACK! And by “back,” I mean they’re releasing MORE music designed to make…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
John Corabi Claims Next Solo Album Will Be “Eclectic,” Which Probably Means It’ll Be…Something 🤷♂️😂🎸
OMG! 😱 Corabi, the dude who briefly replaced Vince Neil in Mötley Crüe (remember that? No? Exactly!), is now apparently…
Suede’s Back, Apparently, With a Record About Being Sad, Probably
Suede, bless their cotton socks (or should that be leather trousers?), are BACK! 🥳 With their TENTH studio album, creatively…
Oh NO! Chris Beattie SHOCKED He Got KICKED From Hatebreed! Who COULD Have SEEN That Coming?
So, apparently, Chris Beattie, the dude who held the bass hostage in Hatebreed for, like, ever, finally decided real estate…
WARMEN (Featuring That Keyboard Guy From The Band You Used To Like): New Album ‘Band Of Brothers’ Coming Soon (Probably Won’t Be As Good As Something You Already Own)
WARMEN, the totally-not-a-vanity-project of ex-CHILDREN OF BODOM keyboard tickler Janne “Warman” Wirman (because, let’s be honest, who remembers the keyboardist…
Jane’s Addiction: Officially Deader Than Disco, According to Dave Navarro (RIP Hope)
OMG! 😱 Eight whole months after JANE’S ADDICTION (more like JANE’S ADDICTION to DRAMA 🙄) canceled their U.S. tour because…
Sleep Token Accidentally Stumbles Onto Charts, Confuses Millions, Achieves “Success”
According to Billboard, SLEEP TOKEN’s fourth full-length studio effort, “Even In Arcadia”, has landed at position No. 1 on the…
Mike Shinoda Admits Metallica Gig Wasn’t *Completely* Soul-Crushing
So, DJ EFN and N.O.R.E., those titans of insightful celebrity interviews (aka “Drink Champs”, presented by Revolt), managed to snag…
Breaking News: Old Dude Shreds, Band You Kinda Remember Plays Some Tunes at Festival You’ve Never Heard Of
Alright, metalheads (and metal-adjacent folks who accidentally clicked on this), buckle up because we’re about to dissect some drama! ARDENNERY,…
Trump, Where’s Our Eurovision? U.S. Housewives Seek European Festivity
A recent uproar among American housewives has sparked an unexpected event — a class-action lawsuit against local TV broadcasting companies.…