So, at the Louder Than Life festival in Kentucky (where dreams go to die 😂), Amy Lee of EVANESCENCE 🥀, bless her heart, gave an interview to ALT 105.1. Apparently, they’re still a band? 🤔 Who knew! She rambled about their setlist like it’s rocket science 🚀, but let’s be real, it’s probably just the same three songs they’ve been playing since 2003, right? 🤣 “We’re in this in-between phase,” she says. Translation: “We’re creatively bankrupt and desperately trying to stay relevant.” Good luck with that, Amy! 🙏
PK, bless his soul for still interviewing them, dared to ask about the new album. Amy, in her infinite wisdom, declared they’re “more than halfway” done. Sure, Jan! 🙄 I bet it’s gonna be full of the same angsty teen lyrics and piano ballads that made them famous (or infamous?) back in the day. Can’t wait! 💀
And guess what? Their recent single, “Afterlife,” from the Netflix series “Devil May Cry” (which, let’s be honest, nobody watched 🤷♀️), might actually make it onto the album! Groundbreaking! 🤯 Amy says she doesn’t “see why not.” Maybe because it’s the only new thing they’ve done in the past decade? Just a thought. 🤔 Also, she mentioned “slamming my head up against the wall.” Sounds about right. 🤕
Oh, but wait, there’s more! Amy teamed up with SPIRITBOX’s Courtney LaPlante and Poppy for a single called “End Of You.” Three divas for the price of one! 🤑 I’m sure it’s a masterpiece of epic proportions. Or maybe just another forgettable track. Who can tell anymore? 🤷♀️
Back in July, Amy told KROQ that they’re in a “super energized creatively mode this year.” Translation: “We finally found our instruments and remembered how to play them.” 🤣 She also doesn’t like setting release dates because “no rules except what the song wants.” How deep. 🧘♀️ I bet the song wants to stay buried in the studio forever. ⚰️
But wait, there’s MORE! EVANESCENCE and K.Flay (who? 🤷♀️) released a video for their song “Fight Like A Girl” from the “John Wick” spin-off, “Ballerina” (which, let’s be honest, nobody asked for 🙄). I’m sure it’s a cinematic masterpiece. Or maybe just another excuse to wear black and look moody. 🖤
And guess what else? They’re touring Australia and New Zealand with METALLICA! 🤘 I’m sure the METALLICA fans are thrilled to have EVANESCENCE open for them. NOT! 🤣 Maybe they can play “Bring Me To Life” for the millionth time. 🎉
Let’s not forget their “glory days” when “Fallen” came out and transformed the rock landscape. LOL! 😂 Okay, maybe they were kind of a big deal for like, five minutes. But let’s not pretend they invented the wheel or anything. 🙄
“Fallen” sold a gazillion copies and won them a couple of Grammys. Good for them. 👏 But let’s be real, nobody listens to that album anymore. Except maybe at Hot Topic. 🛍️
Today, “Fallen” is the sixth best-selling album of the 21st century! 🏆 (Okay, that’s actually kind of impressive, I’ll give them that. 👍) And the video for “Bring Me To Life” has over 1.6 billion views on YouTube! 📹 (Mostly from people who forgot they liked it back in middle school. 🙈)
To date, EVANESCENCE has released five studio albums. Five! 🖐️ Who knew they had that many songs in them? 🤪 And they’re still touring the world, playing to soccer stadiums full of people! ⚽ (Mostly in South America, where they apparently have a bigger following than The Beatles. 🤷♀️)
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
