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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Zetro’s Back, Baby! Hear Him Butcher Songs He’s Never Even Tried Before
Breaking

Zetro’s Back, Baby! Hear Him Butcher Songs He’s Never Even Tried Before

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Folks, get ready for the most epic, most groundbreaking, most Zetro-riffic event of the millennium! 🎤 Steve “Zetro” Souza, the…

Savatage’s 2025 Comeback: Johnny Lee Middleton States the Obvious
Breaking, Music News

Savatage’s 2025 Comeback: Johnny Lee Middleton States the Obvious

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

In a groundbreaking, earth-shattering 💥 interview with Eonmusic at Hellfest 2025, SAVATAGE bassist Johnny Lee Middleton revealed the band’s ingenious…

Bruce Dickinson Dumps New ‘Gods Of War’ Track – Prepare for Maximum Picasso Ball-osity
Breaking

Bruce Dickinson Dumps New ‘Gods Of War’ Track – Prepare for Maximum Picasso Ball-osity

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

So, IRON MAIDEN’s very own air raid siren, Bruce Dickinson, is gracing us with a “reworked” version of his ’90s…

GHOST’s Tobias Forge Builds Metal Church: Prepare for ‘Skeletour’ of Utter Darkness and Questionable Architecture
Breaking, Music News

GHOST’s Tobias Forge Builds Metal Church: Prepare for ‘Skeletour’ of Utter Darkness and Questionable Architecture

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

GHOST, the *totally* underground Swedish rock band (yeah, right), is gracing the U.S. with its presence on the “Skeletour” world…

The Gathering’s ‘Mandylion’ Reunion: Still Kicking (Barely) in the Netherlands
Breaking, Music News

The Gathering’s ‘Mandylion’ Reunion: Still Kicking (Barely) in the Netherlands

Chord F. DiscordJuly 3, 2025July 3, 2025

Oh, look, it’s THE GATHERING, dusting off their “Mandylion” album for a 30th-anniversary cash grab! 💰 Featuring the legendary (debatable)…

Alice Cooper, a Hall of Fame? More Like Hall of Lame
Breaking, Music News

Alice Cooper, a Hall of Fame? More Like Hall of Lame

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Alice Cooper, the guy who makes a living pretending to be scary, is apparently getting inducted into the Radio Hall…

FOO FIGHTERS Celebrate 30 Years of Mediocrity With Thrilling New Single ‘Today’s Song’
Breaking, Music News

FOO FIGHTERS Celebrate 30 Years of Mediocrity With Thrilling New Single ‘Today’s Song’

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

OMG! 😱 FOO FIGHTERS, those geriatric rockers, are apparently still a thing! To celebrate 30 whole years of… mediocrity, they’ve…

BLACK SABBATH Recreated In LEGO Bricks Because Their Music Wasn’t Repetitive Enough
Breaking, Music News

BLACK SABBATH Recreated In LEGO Bricks Because Their Music Wasn’t Repetitive Enough

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Hold onto your dentures, metalheads! 🤘 The geriatric titans of heavy metal, BLACK SABBATH, have officially sold their souls to…

GORGUTS New Album Slated To Drop Around The Time Flying Cars Become Mainstream
Breaking, Music News

GORGUTS New Album Slated To Drop Around The Time Flying Cars Become Mainstream

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Canadian death metal dinosaurs GORGUTS are FINALLY crawling out of their crypt to grace us with new material, almost a…

Joe Perry Gushes About Hollywood Vampires Doc: Prepare to Be Amazed (Or Not)
Breaking, Music News

Joe Perry Gushes About Hollywood Vampires Doc: Prepare to Be Amazed (Or Not)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

So, Joe Perry, bless his heart 🙄, was yapping to Eddie Trunk (who even listens to that guy anymore? 👴)…

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