OMG! 😱 Did you hear the news? TWISTED SISTER is crawling out of their retirement graves for a 50th-anniversary cash grab… I mean, *celebration*! 🥳 Dee Snider, bless his heart, thinks he’s still got it at 70. Seriously, Dee? Maybe stick to pancake eating contests, grandpa! 🥞👴
So, apparently, Dee had a mid-life crisis, looked in the mirror, and was all, “OMG, I’m old!” 👵 Then, he remembered he could still milk TWISTED SISTER for all it’s worth. 💰 He called up the boys and was like, “Hey, remember when we said ‘never’? LOL, just kidding! Let’s embarrass ourselves one last time!” 🤡 Of course, he name-drops legends like Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger, because comparing yourself to actual rock gods always ends well. 🙄
Dee claims he was reluctant because he’s got this super demanding stage persona (yeah, right! 😉), and anything less would be a “disappointment.” Dude, you’re 70! The only disappointment is that you’re not sipping Metamucil on a porch somewhere. 🧓 But hey, it’s not about the money, right? It’s about… wanting to do it one more time! *eye roll* 🙄 Sure, Jan. 🙄
Of course, it was Dee’s idea to reunite. He was the one screaming “Never!” for a decade. 🤣 Now, he’s all, “Surprise! I’m back from the dead!” 🧟♂️ The other guys were probably like, “Ugh, fine. But you’re paying for my hip replacement after this.” 🦴
And get this, Dee’s bragging about his workout regimen! 💪 He’s gonna be ripped at 70! Yeah, okay, maybe ripped like a piece of old paper. 🧻 He’s all, “I want a carb!” Dude, you earned it. Eat the whole damn cake! 🎂 You’re gonna re-record “I Wanna Rock” as “I Want A Carb”? Groundbreaking comedy, Dee! 🥇
But wait, there’s more drama! Mark Mendoza is OUT! 👋 Apparently, there are “irreconcilable differences.” Translation: They probably fought over who gets the last Werther’s Original. 🍬 In comes Russell Pzütto, who was Mark‘s tech. Talk about awkward. 😬 Dee says he “can’t imagine” Mark ever playing with them again. Ouch! 🤕
Jay Jay French gave some BS statement about “realignment” and wishing Mark well. Corporate speak at its finest! 🏢 They’ve had 10 different bass players and drummers?! This isn’t a band; it’s a revolving door! 🚪
Oh, and Mike Portnoy is too busy with DREAM THEATER to slum it with TWISTED SISTER. Smart move, Mike! 🧠 They got Joe Franco, who played on “Love Is For Suckers.” I think the album title says it all. 🤡
Let’s not forget their one-off reunion at the Metal Hall Of Fame! 🎉 So metal! They played three songs. Groundbreaking. 🙄Eddie Ojeda had COVID, so they got some random guy to fill in. Sounds like a well-oiled machine! ⚙️
In conclusion, TWISTED SISTER is back, and it’s gonna be a train wreck. 🚂 But hey, at least we’ll have something to laugh at! 😂 Get your tickets now before they sell out… to the retirement home crowd! 👵👴 #TwistedSister #DeeSnider #CashGrabReunion #OldManRock #MetalHallOfFame #TrainWreck #Pancakes #Carbs #MidlifeCrisis #RetirementHomeRock
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
