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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
UGLY KID JOE Claims to Have Written ‘A Gazillion’ Songs (Yeah, Right) For Upcoming Album
Breaking, Music News

UGLY KID JOE Claims to Have Written ‘A Gazillion’ Songs (Yeah, Right) For Upcoming Album

Chord F. DiscordJuly 29, 2025July 29, 2025

In a recent chat with “Reckless” Rexx Ruger of the prestigious (ahem) Pod Scum podcast, UGLY KID JOE’s very own…

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL
Breaking, Music News

Celine Dion, bless her heart, thinks Ozzy is ‘original’ LOL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! 😲 The world-renowned vocal powerhouse, Celine Dion, has finally acknowledged the existence of Ozzy Osbourne, you know, that bat-chomping…

Joe Elliott Gushes Over Geezer Ozzy: “He’s, Like, A Rock God Or Something”
Breaking, Music News

Joe Elliott Gushes Over Geezer Ozzy: “He’s, Like, A Rock God Or Something”

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

In a recent interview with Fox 13 Seattle’s pathetic excuse for a morning show, “Good Day Seattle,” DEF LEPPARD’s perpetually…

Puscifer Drops a Retrospective Album So You Can Pretend You’ve Been a Fan All Along
Breaking, Music News

Puscifer Drops a Retrospective Album So You Can Pretend You’ve Been a Fan All Along

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

PUSCIFER, the pretentious art-rock collective fronted by wine-slinging overlord Maynard James Keenan, along with his sidekicks Mat Mitchell and Carina…

METALLICA Planning To Annoy Las Vegas With Extended Residency, Sources Say
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA Planning To Annoy Las Vegas With Extended Residency, Sources Say

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

According to Vital Vegas, METALLICA, those geriatric thrashers, are “ready to ink a deal for a Sphere residency” in Las…

Brad Gillis of NIGHT RANGER Bows Down to His Dark Lord OZZY OSBOURNE: “He Made Me What I Am Today, A Guitar-Slinging Minion”
Breaking, Music News

Brad Gillis of NIGHT RANGER Bows Down to His Dark Lord OZZY OSBOURNE: “He Made Me What I Am Today, A Guitar-Slinging Minion”

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

NIGHT RANGER, those purveyors of totally awesome 80s cheese 🧀, decided to “honor” Ozzy Osbourne on Saturday, July 26 at…

Geezer Butler Says Ozzy’s Two-Week Post-Show Disappearance Was Totally Expected (Not!)
Breaking, Music News

Geezer Butler Says Ozzy’s Two-Week Post-Show Disappearance Was Totally Expected (Not!)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

Geezer Butler, the only reason BLACK SABBATH had any semblance of lyrical coherence (allegedly), has graced us with his profound…

OASIS DEDICATES SONG TO OZZY: IS THIS THE END OF ROCK N’ ROLL
Breaking, Music News

OASIS DEDICATES SONG TO OZZY: IS THIS THE END OF ROCK N’ ROLL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

So, like, OASIS – yeah, those guys who haven’t had a relevant song since your grandma’s dentures were new –…

George Lynch and His Mob of Sycophants Debuts: Prepare for Guitar Wizardry (and Maybe Some Nap-Worthy Moments)
Breaking, Music News

George Lynch and His Mob of Sycophants Debuts: Prepare for Guitar Wizardry (and Maybe Some Nap-Worthy Moments)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 27, 2025July 27, 2025

🎸 So, it seems “legendary” (according to whom? 🤔) guitarist George Lynch, fresh off the “LYNCH MOB’s” farewell tour –…

Breaking News: Fans Confuse Bench for Grave, Declare Ozzy Dead (Again)
Breaking, Music News

Breaking News: Fans Confuse Bench for Grave, Declare Ozzy Dead (Again)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 26, 2025July 26, 2025

So, apparently, Ozzy Osbourne, the Prince of freaking Darkness (or was it the Court Jester of Darkness?), has finally kicked…

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