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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Phil Soussan Thrilled To Maybe Possibly Have Found New LAST IN LINE Singer
Breaking, Music News

Phil Soussan Thrilled To Maybe Possibly Have Found New LAST IN LINE Singer

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 12, 2026September 12, 2026

We’re shocked, SHOCKED, to learn that LAST IN LINE has finally found a new singer to replace the departed Andrew…

Brent Hinds’s Estate Sues Mastodon Because Of Course They Did
Breaking, Music News

Brent Hinds’s Estate Sues Mastodon Because Of Course They Did

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 12, 2026September 12, 2026

Oh no, the metal world is imploding! 🤯 MASTODON is being sued by the estate of their former band member…

Alice Cooper and Criss Angel combine powers to traumatize Vegas tourists with magic and music
Breaking, Music News

Alice Cooper and Criss Angel combine powers to traumatize Vegas tourists with magic and music

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 11, 2026September 11, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my leather jacket because I’m so excited to share this earth-shattering news with…

WASP dusts off ancient relic Mr Cool for nostalgia desperate fans
Breaking, Music News

WASP dusts off ancient relic Mr Cool for nostalgia desperate fans

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 11, 2026September 11, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious nostalgia? 🤯 W.A.S.P. just kicked off their “1984 To Headless” 2026…

Darkness Balanced By Equally Pretentious Counterpart Nightbringer Lightbringer
Breaking, Music News

Darkness Balanced By Equally Pretentious Counterpart Nightbringer Lightbringer

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 11, 2026September 11, 2026

So, ARCHGOAT is back with a new album, “Nightbringer, Lightbringer”, because the world really needed more Finnish blackened death metal…

Burton C Bell still talking somehow
Breaking, Music News

Burton C Bell still talking somehow

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 11, 2026September 11, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some super exclusive, totally-not-a-concert, spoken-word experience with Burton C. Bell? 🤔 I mean,…

TESTAMENT’s ALEX SKOLNICK Finally Discovers Internet Has Trolls
Breaking, Music News

TESTAMENT’s ALEX SKOLNICK Finally Discovers Internet Has Trolls

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 10, 2026September 12, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some mind-blowing news? 🤯 I just found out that Testament’s Alex Skolnick has…

William Shatner Saves Metal With Confusingly Titled Album
Breaking, Music News

William Shatner Saves Metal With Confusingly Titled Album

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 10, 2026September 12, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for this? 🤯 William Shatner, the 95-year-old “Star Trek” legend, is making a heavy…

BEARTOOTH Frontman Comes Out Gay And Somehow His Parents Dont Disown Him
Breaking, Music News

BEARTOOTH Frontman Comes Out Gay And Somehow His Parents Dont Disown Him

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 10, 2026September 10, 2026

Breaking News: BEARTOOTH Frontman Caleb Shomo Comes Out as Gay and the World is Apparently Still Spinning 🌎💥. I mean,…

Deep Purple’s Ian Gillan Still Talking About Ritchie Blackmore Reunion Nobody Asked For
Breaking, Music News

Deep Purple’s Ian Gillan Still Talking About Ritchie Blackmore Reunion Nobody Asked For

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 10, 2026September 12, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some mind-blowing news? 🤯 I can barely contain my excitement… or not. So,…

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