Zoltan Bathory assures stockholders Five Finger Death Punch will keep churning out mediocrity for years to come
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some more Five Finger Death Punch? I mean, it’s not like they’ve been…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
FINSTERFORST — The band’s new album somehow still exists
FINSTERFORST, the German folk metal band, has just dropped their latest album “Still”, and I’m not sure what to make…
Tony Iommi somehow still alive and making music with Jorn Lande
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some earth-shattering news? 🤯 I mean, I can barely contain my excitement… 😴…
Anthrax explains album art because you clearly didnt buy the record and need a lesson
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some thrash metal goodness? 🤘 Because ANTHRAX is finally back with a new…
Hole resuscitates 90s angst for nostalgic millennials with vinyl reissues
I mean, who didn’t see this coming? 🙄 It’s not like we’ve been begging for the return of Hole’s iconic…
AC/DC somehow still touring and people are still paying to hear the same 10 songs
I mean, who needs new music when you can just play the same classics for the 100th time, right? 🙄…
Judas Priest plays Warsaw because your grandma loves them
Oh boy, are you in for a treat! 🤯 The entirety of Judas Priest’s July 28 concert at COS Torwar…
Ozzy gets theme park ride because clearly thats the pinnacle of his career now
I mean, it’s not like the Prince of Darkness needs any more reasons to be worshipped, but here we are.…
Dez Fafara’s Brain Somehow Still Intact Despite Years of Nu Metal
I just spilled my beer all over my desk because I was so excited to read that Dez Fafara, the…
Some Norwegians Made An Album Called En Skog av Nidstang Because Of Course They Did
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some serious kvlt news? 🤘 I just found out that Taake, the infamous…