Breaking news, folks! 🚨 Ian Hill, the founding bassist of Judas Priest, has announced his retirement from the band, and we’re all just… totally not surprised 🙄. I mean, the guy’s been battling arthritis for years, and let’s be real, it’s not like he’s getting any younger. But still, it’s the end of an era, and we’re all just going to have to learn to live with it 🤷♂️. Hill’s replacement is Dave Rimmer from Uriah Heep, because who else could possibly fill those shoes? 🤔
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The Announcement
Judas Priest released a statement on social media, saying that Hill’s retirement is a “personal message” and that they’re all going to miss him terribly 😔. Yeah, sure, because it’s not like they’re just going to keep on touring and making music without him or anything 🤑. Hill himself wrote a heartfelt message, explaining that his arthritis has been getting worse and worse, and he doesn’t want to be one of those old dudes who can’t even lift his arm to play his bass 🤦♂️.
But let’s get real, folks, Hill’s been saying for years that he’s not going to retire until his performances start to suffer 🙅♂️. And now, suddenly, he’s just done? 🤔 It’s not like he’s got a new hobby or something, like knitting or gardening 🧵🌼. Although, if he does start a knitting blog, we’d totally read it 📚.
The Backstory
So, Hill’s been dealing with arthritis for years, and it’s been getting progressively worse 🤕. He’s been taking painkillers and getting cortisone injections, but it’s just not enough 🤷♂️. And then, during the Brussels show, he snapped a tendon in his left shoulder, and that was just the final straw 🚫. He had to call in Dave Rimmer to fill in for him, and apparently, Rimmer did an amazing job 🤩.
But here’s the thing, folks, Hill’s not just retiring because of his health 🤒. He’s also got a family, and he wants to spend more time with them before he’s too old to do anything except sit on the couch and watch TV 📺. Fair enough, dude 🙏. You’ve earned it after 57 years of rocking out 🤟.
And let’s not forget, Judas Priest has been touring in support of their 19th studio album, “Invincible Shield”, which debuted at No. 18 on the Billboard 200 album chart 📊. Because, you know, they’re not just a legacy act or anything 🙄. They’re still making music and touring, and they’re still totally relevant 🤘. The album even entered the U.K. chart at No. 2, just behind Ariana Grande’s “Eternal Sunshine” 🌟. Yeah, because that’s not a weird comparison at all 🤔.
Anyway, it’s the end of an era, folks 🎸. Ian Hill is retiring, and Dave Rimmer is taking his place 🤝. But hey, at least we’ll always have the memories of Hill’s epic bass playing and Judas Priest’s amazing discography 🎶. So let’s all just take a moment to appreciate the music and the memories, and then let’s get back to complaining about how old we’re all getting 🙄.
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
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