How To Join ICE
Read MoreThe OnionAs Immigration and Customs Enforcement seeks to increase its presence across the country, the agency is actively recruiting…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Homeless Man Made Fun Of By All The Other Homeless Men For Not Having iPhone 17
LOS ANGELOS, CA — A local homeless man reported over the weekend that he had been made fun of by…
Michael J. Fox HATED the DeLorean: A Car So Bad, Even Time Couldn’t Fix It
**OMG! 😱 Michael J. Fox HATED the DeLorean in ‘Back to the Future’?!?!? Like, how dare he??? 😡 Is nothing…
Saipan: Finally, a movie about two lads having a bit of a row
Vertigo Releasing and Wildcard, bless their cotton socks, have unleashed the official poster and a trailer for Saipan. Prepare yourselves…
Witness the Cinematic Chainsaw Symphony: Texas Chainsaw Massacre Docu-Blast on Glorious Blu-Ray
Lightbulb Film Distribution, those purveyors of cinematic… stuff… 💡, have bravely announced that a feature-length snooze-fest 😴 about, allegedly, one…
Andy Reid Urges Chris Jones To Soak In Hot Tub Filled With Chopped Vegetables
Read MoreThe OnionKANSAS CITY, MO—Insisting it would help the six-time Pro Bowler recover from the aches and pains of the…
Greta Thunberg Says Israel Put A Noose On Her And Yelled, “This Is Bagel Country!”
ATHENS — Activist Greta Thunberg told reporters today that Israel put a noose on her, dumped bleach on her hair,…
Young Republicans Under Fire Over Racist, Homophobic Group Chat
Read MoreThe OnionYoung Republican leaders sparked bipartisan condemnation over a leaked cache of thousands of racist, antisemitic, and homophobic texts,…
RFK Orders Airstrike On Cargo Ship Full Of Tylenol
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of HHS Robert F. Kennedy Jr. ordered an airstrike on a cargo ship full of Tylenol…
Researchers Identify Gene Responsible For Visualizing Murder After Touching Missing Person’s Sweater
Read MoreThe OnionSTANFORD, CA—Shedding new light on the rare trait’s origins, researchers at the Stanford School of Medicine announced Friday…