Lightbulb Film Distribution, those purveyors of cinematic… stuff… 💡, have bravely announced that a feature-length snooze-fest 😴 about, allegedly, one of the most “influential” horror films of all time – The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) – will be unleashed in the UK & Ireland on the totally spooktacular date of 27th October. Get ready to be thrilled… or maybe just bored. 🤷♀️
Chain Reactions, or as I like to call it, “Chain-Yawn” 🥱, is supposedly an “exploration” of Tobe Hooper’s uh… “cult-classic.” Featuring never-before-seen outtakes, probably because they were too awful to show anyone, and interviews with Patton Oswalt (who apparently has too much time on his hands), Takashi Miike (lost in translation, no doubt), Alexandra Heller-Nicholas (who?), Stephen King (because he’s contractually obligated to comment on everything horror-related ✍️) and Karyn Kusama (I had to Google her). Prepare for groundbreaking insights, like “chainsaws are loud!” 📢
Directed by some dude named Alexandre O. Philippe (Lynch/Oz, The Origins of Alien), which sounds suspiciously like AI-generated film titles 🤖, the doc allegedly had its World premiere at Venice Film Festival last year. I’m guessing they were desperate for content. It then screened at a string of International festivals – including BFI (London), Night Visions (Finland), Sitges (Spain) and MIFF (Australia). Basically, it went everywhere no one cared enough to stop it. ✈️
Fifty years after Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre shocked the world (or at least some people with weak constitutions 🤢), this feature-length documentary (term used loosely) charts the film’s “profound impact” (citation needed) and “lasting influence” (on chainsaw sales, maybe 🤔) on five great artists (according to their mothers). Patton Oswalt, Takashi Miike, Alexandra Heller-Nicholas, Stephen King and Karyn Kusama – who, let’s be honest, were probably paid handsomely to say nice things. 💰
We have got two Blu-rays up for grabs. Because, you know, everyone is clamoring for physical media in 2025. To be in with a chance to win, answer the following question (which we probably Googled ourselves five minutes ago). ❓
You can pre-order it here. Please do, so we can make a tiny commission. Don’t worry, it’s not like we’re getting rich off this. We just need enough to buy a decent cup of coffee. ☕
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
