Biologists Announce There Absolutely Nothing We Can Learn From Clams
Read MoreThe OnionWOODS HOLE, MA—Saying they saw no conceivable reason to bother with the bivalve mollusks, biologists at the Woods…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
PSA: Do NOT Go Really Fast In A Boat With A Venezuelan Flag Right Now
ALERT: This is an important public service announcement for anyone planning to enjoy their boats out on the water for…
Study Finds Voices Should Sound Normal Through Walkie-Talkies By Now
Read MoreThe OnionITHACA, NY—Citing numerous advancements in communication technology over the years, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Cornell…
![Study Finds Jews Are Always Cool And Nice And Their Bagels Are Great Too [This Post Sponsored By Israel For $7,000]](https://jackal.today/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/68efd61e18ede68efd61e18edf-npvI10.jpg)
Study Finds Jews Are Always Cool And Nice And Their Bagels Are Great Too [This Post Sponsored By Israel For $7,000]
U.S. — A new study has just conclusively proved that Jewish people are always cool, their bagels are great, and…
All You Need Is Kill: Prepare to Have Your Mind Numbed by Another Anime Adaptation of That Novel That Inspired Edge of Tomorrow
So, Hiroshi Sakurazaka, bless his weeaboo heart, wrote this thing called All You Need Is Kill. And because Hollywood is…
Drew Struzan RIP
OMG! 😭 Like, I’m, like, SOOOO devastated to announce that Drew Struzan, the dude who painted, like, ALL your fave…
Political Profile: Russell Vought
Read MoreThe OnionRussell Vought, director of the Office of Management and Budget and a key architect of the ultra-conservative Project…
“Send Help” Trailer: Sam Raimi Finally Crawls Out of His Hole After 15 Years (Were We Waiting?)
Oh great, another Sam Raimi movie! 🙄 As if we haven’t suffered enough, the guy who peaked with Spider-Man 2…
Democrats Demand Trump Stop Fanning The Flames Of Peace
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats have called on President Donald J. Trump to stand down and immediately stop fanning the flames…
‘Five Nights at Freddy’s’ Fans Somehow Okay With Megan Fox Playing a Chicken
HOLY. CHICKEN. NUGGETS. 🐔 They actually cast Megan Fox in Five Nights at Freddy’s 2. As Toy Chica? Are you…