USDA Deactivates Nation’s Corn During Government Shutdown
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—In response to the freezing of federal funds necessary to keep the essential grain operational for millions of…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
‘Minecraft Movie’ Sequel Officially Plaguing Theaters in 2027
OMG! 😱 The biggest cinematic masterpiece 🎬 of our generation, A Minecraft Movie, raked in a measly $423.9 million in…
‘Why Am I So Depressed?’ Asks Wife Who Listens To 8 Hours Of Murder Podcasts A Day
WAUKEE, IA — Local suburban housewife Keightlyynn Huxley reported today that an unusual cloud of depression has been following her…
Andrew Garfield “Teases” Possible Spider-Man Comeback (Again?!) in the Year 2027 (Maybe, Possibly, If You Really, Really Beg)
🤣Oh, look, it’s Andrew Garfield, still pretending he doesn’t know if he’s going to be in Avengers: Secret Wars. As…
Oh No! Another Happy Haunting Gone Horribly Wrong
OMG! 😱 A woman DIED 💀 on the Haunted Mansion?! Like, seriously? Did she not read the fine print about…
Not 200 Yards Away From The Dog Park
Read MoreThe OnionListen, no one’s trying to broadcast private details about your life to the whole world, but you should…
In Honor Of October 7, Mamdani Paraglides Into Campaign Event
NEW YORK CITY — New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani paraglided into his campaign event today in honor of…
TMNT Does a ‘Home Alone’ Bit? Cowabunga, I Guess
Oh, sweet merciful pepperoni! 🍕 The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, those pizza-guzzling, sewer-dwelling reptiles, are apparently slumming it in New…
U.S. Military Carries Out Strike On Scuffy The Tugboat
Read MoreThe OnionARLINGTON, VA—Saying the Pentagon had acted swiftly on an insider tip about the vessel having a “big adventure”…
Parents Worried Non-Violent Video Games Turning Kids Into Sissies
U.S. — The results of a new study on violent video games appear to show that parents are concerned that…