Elon Musk Briefly Loses Title Of World’s Richest Man
Read MoreThe OnionElon Musk was temporarily overtaken as the world’s richest person by Oracle cofounder Larry Ellison after the company’s…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Entire American University System Officially Designated A Terrorist Organization
U.S. — The entirety of the American higher education system has officially been designated a terrorist organization by the United…
Treasury Secretary Bessent Threatens To Punch Senior Trump Official In Face
Read MoreThe OnionTreasury Secretary Scott Bessent erupted at top housing finance official Bill Pulte during a private dinner, threatening to…
‘Highlander’ Reboot Gets the Chop (Literally!) After Superman Trips Over a Sword
So, apparently, Superman himself, Henry Cavill, got a boo-boo while playing with swords ⚔️ and kilts in preparation for the…
Super Mario: The Title Strikes Back (And It’s Official, So Deal With It)
😂 It’s official, folks! The sequel to the critically acclaimed (by toddlers and Chris Pratt stans) Super Mario Bros. Movie…
Report: Fathers Hugging Their Kids Tighter Today
U.S. — In the face of what seems at times to be overwhelming darkness, a new report suggested that millions…
Emerald Fennell Assures Fans ‘Wuthering Heights’ Will Be Faithful Adaptation Of ‘Twilight’
Read MoreThe OnionLONDON—Promising a “dark, brooding romance,” Wuthering Heights director Emerald Fennell assured fans Thursday that her new movie would be a…
Cities Put Daniel Penny Scarecrows On Subways To Deter Crime
U.S. — Cities across the United States are placing Daniel Penny scarecrows around municipal transportation to scare off would-be criminals.…
ATP Reveals They’re Not Sure Where Ball Boys Come From
Read MoreThe OnionLONDON—Admitting complete ignorance as to the mysterious origins of the creatures, the Association of Tennis Professionals revealed to…
Annual Wikipedia Fundraiser Says For Just $2.75 You Can Help Them Censor Truth
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Internet users were given another rare opportunity to play a role in the dissemination of agenda-driven…