Proactive Man Starts Working On Dracula Impression Early So It Ready For Halloween
Read MoreThe OnionBEVERLY, MA—Launching into preparations months early in an effort to get a head start, proactive local man Mark…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
James Gunn Turns Superman into “Hachiko 2” — Fans Devastated
Once upon a time, in the faraway land of Hollywood, James Gunn’s “Superman” was supposed to be a fun, adventurous…
US Institute of Peace: From Serious to Seriously Doge-ified, Security Chief Howls
In March, the self-proclaimed “geniuses” 🧠 from DOGE, led by the ever-stable 🤪 and totally-not-erratic Elon Musk’s Department of Government…
Netflix dares to drop ‘scariest movie ever’ (as if we haven’t heard that before) with a ‘jaw-dropping plot twist’ (that probably makes no sense) that left fans screaming (probably from boredom)
Netflix is gracing us, the unwashed masses, with Barbarian, a cinematic masterpiece so terrifying, it’s been scientifically proven to make…
Critically Acclaimed 2025 Film (97% on Rotten Tomatoes, No Way!) Now Streaming Online
Sinners, the cinematic masterpiece of 2025 (according to someone, somewhere), boasting a Rotten Tomatoes score so high it’s practically levitating,…
10 Out Of 10 Therapists Recommend Rolling Truck Window Down To Let Your Arm Get A Little Sun
U.S. — Welcome news greeted stressed-out Americans today, as results of a new survey indicated that 10 out of 10…
Wes Anderson’s Box Office Platform Openings: A Hilarious Predictor of ‘The Phoenician Scheme’s’ Looming Doom
Wes Anderson is basically the cinematic equivalent of that one friend who only listens to obscure vinyl records and wears…
Give It Some Juice, Report Sources Fiddling Under Car Hood
Read MoreThe OnionRENO, NV—Switching out the torque wrench for something with a little more “oomph,” local sources fiddling under the…
June 2025 Streaming: Prepare for the Blockbuster Disaster ‘A Minecraft Movie’ on Max
Oh. My. God. 🙄 Did you HEAR about “A Minecraft Movie” 🎬? Apparently, it CAUSES RIOTS. Like, actual, popcorn-throwing, “chicken…
‘Jaws’ Anniversary: 50 Years of Being Afraid to Pee in the Ocean
**Oh, honey, bless your heart if you thought the ocean was your personal bathtub before 1975. 🙄 Turns out, there…