Hush Falls Over Crowd After Bagel Tears ACL In Jumbotron Race
Read MoreThe OnionCHICAGO—Thousands of horrified Bulls fans reportedly gasped and shuddered Tuesday when a cartoon bagel tore his ACL in…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Sarah Miller
Read MoreThe OnionSarah Miller, 47, died happy when her claim that her son’s erratic driving was “going to get [them]…
Man Can’t Wait For America To Finally Be Great Again So He Can Stop Wearing Itchy Trucker Hat
TUSTIN, CA — Louis Silverton, a longtime supporter of President Trump, says he can’t wait for America to finally be…
🍿 Popcorn, Tears, and Circle Pits: What Happened at the Minecraft Movie Screening in West Virginia?
In West Virginia, a screening of “A Minecraft Movie” turned into a chaotic scene more reminiscent of a metal concert…
U.S. Imposes Tariffs On Remote Island Of Penguins And Seals
Read MoreThe OnionThe U.S. Commerce Secretary defended the country’s decision to impose tariffs on Heard and McDonald Islands, an uninhabited…
Israelite King Would Just Once Like Prophets To Say God Is Pleased and Everything Is Dandy
SAMARIA — According to insiders, King Ahab of Israel lamented a recent meeting he had with the prophet Elijah, admitting…
Katy Perry Unaware She Already Chosen To Be Jettisoned If There Emergency In Space
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Katy Perry Unaware She Already Chosen To Be Jettisoned If There Emergency In Space appeared first…
Man Checks News To See Whether Retirement Account Bankrupt Or Has A Million Dollars
RICHMOND, VA — As part of a new morning routine, local man Reggie Hayes checked the news to see if…
NASA Rescues Children Stranded For 9 Months At Space Camp
Read MoreThe OnionHUNTSVILLE, AL—Confirming that the group’s long ordeal was finally over, NASA announced Thursday that it had successfully rescued…
White Sox Introduce New Premium Indoor Suites With No Windows So You Don’t Have To Watch The White Sox Play
CHICAGO, IL — Devoted White Sox fans were overjoyed last week to discover that Rate Field had just been fully…