In Controversial Decision, Supreme Court Rules Words ‘Temporary’ And ‘Forever’ Are Not The Same
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States Supreme Court ruled 6-3 on Tuesday that the words “temporary” and “forever” are…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
John Bolton Pleads Guilty To Failing To Store His Stolen Classified Documents In His Garage
U.S. — Former National Security Advisor John Bolton pleaded guilty in federal court this morning for failing to store…
Peppa Pig Child Actors Forced to Hand Over Their Oinkers to Robots Because Who Needs Human Emotions Anyway
In a shocking turn of events, it’s been revealed that the child actors who lend their adorable voices to the…
A Sneak Peek At Taylor Swift’s Wedding
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are reportedly tying the knot this summer. The Onion shares everything we know about…
Eric Adams Among Lineup Of Children Escorting Turkey Players Onto Pitch
The post Eric Adams Among Lineup Of Children Escorting Turkey Players Onto Pitch appeared first on The Onion. The…
New ‘Communist Catan’ Expansion Set Just Makes Players All Wait Their Turn For Grain
U.S. — A new “Communist Catan” expansion pack for the popular board game will have players just sit and…
Amazon Executive Tells Luca Guadagnino He Didn’t Realize Film Would Be So Pro-Art
LOS ANGELES—Explaining why the company could no longer release Artificial as previously planned, Amazon MGM Studios head Mike Hopkins…
Caitlin Clark Returns To The Court In New Uniform
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — WNBA star Caitlin Clark returned to the basketball court today sporting a slightly modified team uniform.…
France Records Hottest Day Ever
France recorded the hottest day ever in its history, with temperatures reaching a high of 44.3 degrees Celsius (or…
Weakling French Declare ‘Hottest Day Ever’ When It’s Only 40 Degrees
PARIS — The weakling French population dramatically declared that today was “the hottest in history” despite local forecasts showing…