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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Weekend Meetings, Paul Anka Therapy Sessions, and Trump’s Ballroom Fantasies: A CNN Political Soap Opera
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Weekend Meetings, Paul Anka Therapy Sessions, and Trump’s Ballroom Fantasies: A CNN Political Soap Opera

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

You won’t BELIEVE what our favorite President, the one and only Donald J. Trump, is up to now! While the…

Charlotte’s Sheriff, Once a TV Star, Now Apparently an ICE Agent (LOL) | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Charlotte’s Sheriff, Once a TV Star, Now Apparently an ICE Agent (LOL) | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Sheriff McFadden’s Sanctuary City Shenanigans Backfire Spectacularly! Another Win for Trump’s America-First Immigration Policies! Garry McFadden, the darling of the…

New Jersey Sports Betting Case Reveals Geriatric Mob’s Hilarious Attempt to Fleece Zoomers with Stone Age Tactics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

New Jersey Sports Betting Case Reveals Geriatric Mob’s Hilarious Attempt to Fleece Zoomers with Stone Age Tactics

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Folks, can you believe it? The Deep State’s at it again, this time trying to make it look like organized…

Oops, America’s Flights Go Bye-Bye, Prepare for Wallet-Shredding Ticket Prices and Passenger Pandemonium
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops, America’s Flights Go Bye-Bye, Prepare for Wallet-Shredding Ticket Prices and Passenger Pandemonium

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Another government shutdown? You can bet your bottom dollar this is the Democrats’ fault, and those Deep State saboteurs are…

North Carolina Man Blames Bald Eagle for Cat-astrophic Windshield Incident, 911 Operator Wonders if It’s a Fur Real Emergency
Eagle Drops Cat on Windshield: A Sign from the Deep State?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

North Carolina Man Blames Bald Eagle for Cat-astrophic Windshield Incident, 911 Operator Wonders if It’s a Fur Real Emergency

Big ElephantNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Another day, another sign of the impending apocalypse, folks! I bet you won’t hear about this on Fake News CNN…

Florida Eviction Party Gets a Tad Too Wild: Deputy Down, Shooter and Friends Feeling Kinda Owchie
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Florida Eviction Party Gets a Tad Too Wild: Deputy Down, Shooter and Friends Feeling Kinda Owchie

Big ElephantNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Another Day, Another Socialist Snowflake Meltdown! A Florida sheriff’s deputy, a true American hero, was KILLED while serving an eviction…

Kimmel Dangles Olive Branch (Probably Poisoned) After Trump’s ABC Meltdown: A CNN Business Masterpiece
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kimmel Dangles Olive Branch (Probably Poisoned) After Trump’s ABC Meltdown: A CNN Business Masterpiece

Big ElephantNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes at CNN are at it again, clutching their pearls because our glorious President Trump dared to…

Charlotte Cracks Down, and All I Got Was This Lousy ICE Visit
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Charlotte Cracks Down, and All I Got Was This Lousy ICE Visit

Big ElephantNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Oh, the drama in Charlotte! It seems our precious snowflakes are melting faster than an ice sculpture at a global…

5 things you should pretend to care about today: Some guy named Mamdani, ‘Seditious behavior’ (yawn), Autism and vaccines (eye roll), a beauty pageant, and something happening in Gaza
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

5 things you should pretend to care about today: Some guy named Mamdani, ‘Seditious behavior’ (yawn), Autism and vaccines (eye roll), a beauty pageant, and something happening in Gaza

Big ElephantNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Folks, let’s cut through the fake news fog! The liberal media’s trying to distract you from the REAL issues, like…

DOJ Investigates if Ed Martin and Bill Pulte’s Adam Schiff Mortgage Fraud Probe Was a Total Clown Show, CNN Reports
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DOJ Investigates if Ed Martin and Bill Pulte’s Adam Schiff Mortgage Fraud Probe Was a Total Clown Show, CNN Reports

Big ElephantNovember 21, 2025November 21, 2025

Another day, another Deep State plot uncovered! The liberal media is twisting itself into knots trying to protect Adam Schiff,…

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