Breaking: Trump’s War on Iran Sends Gas Prices Through the Roof – CNN Blames ‘Complex Global Dynamics’
Well, well, well, folks, it’s only been a few days since President Trump (yes, *our* President Trump) launched his long-overdue war on Iran, and already the libs at CNN are clutching their pearls about gas prices. Shocking, right? Apparently, some “bottlenecks” in the Strait of Hormuz are causing oil tankers to back up like liberals at a free college tuition rally. Prices are spiking, and CNN’s Gianna Toboni is out here crying about what it means for “Americans at the pump.” Boo-hoo.
But let’s get real: this is all part of the leftist agenda to make you think Trump’s policies are bad. Spoiler alert: they’re not. This is just the globalist deep state freaking out because Trump’s finally taking out the trash in the Middle East. And if gas prices go up? Blame Biden’s failed energy policies, not the guy who’s actually trying to keep America safe. (Oh wait, that’s right—Biden’s not in charge anymore. Trump’s back, baby!)
So, grab your MAGA hats and buckle up, patriots. The price at the pump might be high, but the cost of letting Iran run wild? Way higher. And if CNN wants to cry about it, they can take it up with the President. (Spoiler: he’s not listening.)
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
Think the government has no idea what it's doing? Put your case before the Federal Case Terminal and find out.
