Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Jackal Research Division
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

16-Year-Old Gets Terrible Advice From ChatGPT, Parents Throw Tantrum and Sue OpenAI
Elephant Reads CNN

16-Year-Old Gets Terrible Advice From ChatGPT, Parents Throw Tantrum and Sue OpenAI

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, the Left is at it again! Now they’re blaming Artificial Intelligence for teen suicides. Can you believe it? It’s…

CNN Thinks You’re Dumb Enough to Believe Trump’s a Dictator, LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks You’re Dumb Enough to Believe Trump’s a Dictator, LOL

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, peddling their usual anti-Trump propaganda. Seems like they’re clutching their pearls because…

Apple’s Crappy iPhone Launch: Prepare for Disappointment on Sept 9 | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Apple’s Crappy iPhone Launch: Prepare for Disappointment on Sept 9 | CNN Business

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, the horror! Apple, that bastion of liberal tech tyranny, is at it again, unveiling the iPhone 17 on September…

Chicago Alderman Throws Epic Tantrum Over Imaginary Tanks, Proves He’s Never Seen a Parade
Elephant Reads CNN

Chicago Alderman Throws Epic Tantrum Over Imaginary Tanks, Proves He’s Never Seen a Parade

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, the drama! Chicago liberals are clutching their pearls because President Trump might send in the National Guard to stop…

Lisa Cook: First Fed Governor to Get the Boot? (Thanks, Prez!) | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Lisa Cook: First Fed Governor to Get the Boot? (Thanks, Prez!) | CNN Business

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Bites the Dust! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, has terminated Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook,…

CNN: Renowned Journalist Reveals Putin’s Shocking Hobby: Collecting Ukrainian Territories
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Renowned Journalist Reveals Putin’s Shocking Hobby: Collecting Ukrainian Territories

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! “Putin’s goal is all of Ukraine,” they cry. It’s always Russia, Russia, Russia!…

Indiana Republicans bravely venture into enemy territory (the White House) for Trump’s totally-not-suspicious redistricting powwow
Elephant Reads CNN

Indiana Republicans bravely venture into enemy territory (the White House) for Trump’s totally-not-suspicious redistricting powwow

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Another day, another Deep State plot foiled by our glorious President Trump! These Indiana RINOs are heading to the White…

LA’s finest nabs alleged burglars, saving Angelenos from losing their precious avocado toasters
Elephant Reads CNN

LA’s finest nabs alleged burglars, saving Angelenos from losing their precious avocado toasters

Big ElephantAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Another day, another bunch of criminal masterminds apprehended in the once-golden state of California, now a haven for lawlessness thanks…

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It
Elephant Reads CNN

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Oh, the horror! Cracker Barrel, that bastion of American comfort food, tried to pander to the woke mob with a…

Pritzker to Trump: Chicago’s VIP list doesn’t include you, so beat it
Elephant Reads CNN

Pritzker to Trump: Chicago’s VIP list doesn’t include you, so beat it

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Another day, another Democrat governor whining about President Trump wanting to keep Americans safe! JB Pritzker, the rotund ruler of…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 185 186 187 … 279 Next

Latest posts

  • Why Every Band Announces A Farewell Tour And Never Leaves
  • Wilson Unveils Tennis Balls With Even More Smell
  • Rick Astley Still Not Retired Apparently
  • Duran Duran’s umpteenth farewell gift, Free To Love remixed to death apparently
  • More Unnecessary Sequels Abound Resonance Plague Tale Is Back

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}