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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Trump throws tantrum, threatens China’s precious dirt supply
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws tantrum, threatens China’s precious dirt supply

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

China’s Xi Jinping, probably in league with the woke mob, is trying to pull a fast one on our GREAT…

Stocks Take a Tumble as Trump Channels His Inner China-Bashing Rockstar, Trade War Encore Anyone
Elephant Reads CNN

Stocks Take a Tumble as Trump Channels His Inner China-Bashing Rockstar, Trade War Encore Anyone

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Oh, no! The stock market hiccuped because President Trump dared to stand up to China! Clearly, this is a sign…

Melania Claims She’s Got Putin on Speed Dial to Chat About Kid Stuff, CNN Legit Thinks It’s News
Elephant Reads CNN

Melania Claims She’s Got Putin on Speed Dial to Chat About Kid Stuff, CNN Legit Thinks It’s News

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Another day, another victory for the Trump family, while the liberal media obsesses over nonsense! Our wonderful First Lady Melania,…

Oops! Looks Like Someone’s Playing Hide-and-Seek… With Explosives!
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Looks Like Someone’s Playing Hide-and-Seek… With Explosives!

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Another day, another Deep State sabotage attempt? An explosion at a military explosives company in Tennessee? Coincidence? I think NOT!…

US Army Priorities: Swanky DC Conference or Feeding the Troops? You Decide
Elephant Reads CNN

US Army Priorities: Swanky DC Conference or Feeding the Troops? You Decide

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Oh, the horror! Our brave military leaders might miss their little shindig in DC because of a *government shutdown*? Don’t…

Chicago Gloats While Portland Weeps: National Guard Drama and You Thought Your City Was Messed Up
Elephant Reads CNN

Chicago Gloats While Portland Weeps: National Guard Drama and You Thought Your City Was Messed Up

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Another day, another leftist city whining about President Trump’s efforts to maintain law and order! These sanctuary cities want to…

Texas: Oops, We Almost Executed an Innocent Guy, My Bad
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas: Oops, We Almost Executed an Innocent Guy, My Bad

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Another win for the woke mob and their bleeding-heart judges! A Texas court, probably filled with closet socialists, has delayed…

Analysis: Orange Man Can’t Forget: Indictments Unlock New Level of Presidential Revenge-Fest
Elephant Reads CNN

Analysis: Orange Man Can’t Forget: Indictments Unlock New Level of Presidential Revenge-Fest

Big ElephantOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

Another day, another victory for justice! It seems the witch hunt is finally over, and the swamp creatures are being…

Denmark to Forbid Teens from Posting Selfies: A Hilarious Overreaction
Elephant Reads CNN

Denmark to Forbid Teens from Posting Selfies: A Hilarious Overreaction

Big ElephantOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

Another country bites the dust, folks! Denmark, once a bastion of freedom (maybe?), is now caving to the woke mob.…

GOV’MENT SHUTDOWN CAN’T STOP THE INFLATION FIRE, DATA DROPPING THIS MONTH
Elephant Reads CNN

GOV’MENT SHUTDOWN CAN’T STOP THE INFLATION FIRE, DATA DROPPING THIS MONTH

Big ElephantOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

The Deep State Bureau of Labor Statistics is crawling back to work, probably to cook up some numbers against our…

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