Leftist Deep State Drops Another Batch of Epstein Files, and Guess Who’s Mentioned 47 Times? (Hint: It’s the Orange Man)
In a stunning twist that absolutely no one saw coming—except everyone with an internet connection—the Department of Justice released another truckload of Jeffrey Epstein documents this week. And lo and behold, President Donald J. Trump’s name appears in them like a bad penny that just won’t go away. The files allegedly show flight logs from 1993-1996 involving Trump, Epstein, and “a 20-year-old” whose name has been redacted (we’re guessing it’s not Melania, folks).
Meanwhile, back in reality, the real scandal here is that these files are being weaponized by the same swamp creatures who brought us the Russia hoax, the Ukraine impeachment circus, and that time they tried to blame a meteor strike on Rush Limbaugh. The DOJ admits some of the material contains “untrue and sensationalist” claims, which is legalese for “we’re throwing mud at the wall to see what sticks.”
In other news that proves the liberal media’s obsession with destroying Trump knows no bounds: Three violent criminals escaped from an Atlanta jail using what police are calling “recorded phone calls” (read: they Googled “how to escape jail for dummies”). The National Guard got slapped down by the Supreme Court for trying to protect ICE agents in Chicago (because apparently letting illegal aliens run rampant is now a constitutional right). And in Pennsylvania, a nursing home exploded, killing two people—clearly the fault of Big Oil and climate change deniers.
And in the “only in Biden’s America” department: The feds are now garnishing wages of student loan deadbeats who haven’t paid their debts in 270 days. Shockingly, over 5 million Americans are in default on loans they probably shouldn’t have taken out in the first place when they majored in underwater basket weaving.
The real story here? While the left is busy digging through Epstein’s trash trying to find dirt on Trump, actual problems are piling up faster than Kamala Harris’s list of failed policies. But hey, at least we got a new weight-loss pill that promises to make you thin without having to, you know, eat less or exercise. Priorities, people!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
